Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The day after the day after Christmas

or, December 27th.
or, Christmas with Cari's side of the family...late because we were waiting on sister and bro-in-law to get into town.
Pick your favorite title...

At any rate, it (Christmas celebrations) happened again yesterday.


Santa made an appearance for a long awaited Charlie (my brand new niece) to arrive.


We tried (in vain) to get a good picture of a squirming Rigg...


We played dress-up and pose with the baby and my mothers beautifully wrapped Christmas presents.


A family pic of my sis and brother and niece.


My mom with her grand kids... Rigg was enjoying Charlie's baby feet.


And yes... I really am that big...3 weeks people!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

a Christmas pictorial summation

Christmas Eve




Christmas Day






Today

picture a large pregnant lady sitting on the sofa watching football...and eating pizza

Tomorrow

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

hung by the chimney with care

no stocking this year
just a Big Rigg


and a sweet reminder

Sunday, December 19, 2010

It all started with a baby

As Christmas approaches (at an insanely incalculable speed, I might add) I am constantly bombarded with memories, emotions and desires. To me Christmas conjures up feelings of warmth. The atmosphere is just warm and inviting, the glow of a Christmas tree seems warm, the hot coco, the P.J's, the snuggling under blankets watching movies you only watch once a year... it all brings an aura of warmth. I enjoy feeling warm and happy. I look forward to the glow and the warmth Christmas brings.

This year, along with wanting all the family, food, pretty decorations and a desire to see Rigg really take notice, I desire to grasp meaning. I want not be drawn to my warmth so much as be drawn closer to Christ.

As I have been pondering ways I can learn and grow in my faith this Christmas, I have been struck anew. Not about Peace, or Joy, or how completely miraculous the entire Christmas Story really is... (each one of these things is amazing and awe inspiring) but about Hope.

God's gift of Hope...in the form of a baby.

I love all of the promises the bible offers to me about my hope for the future. Since Caden died, I have clung more desperately to my promise of salvation. (Ephesians 1:13) I look forward to the day Christ returns. I long to hear the trumpet sound and see the clouds rolled back. (1 Thessalonians 4:16-18) I rest upon the Hope that is promised to those who have put their trust in Christ,( John 3:16) in one word.... Heaven.
Hope has become a very real thing for me...an almost tangible thing to hold.

As I have reread and become reacquainted with the story of the birth of my Savior, I have discovered the beginning, the start... the foundation of my Hope.
Jesus
A baby.
A promised King.
A prophesied Messiah.
A perfect Lamb.
My only Hope.

Without Jesus' s birth, without His life of sinlessness upon this fallen terrain, without His willingness to die in my stead... I would be hopeless.

But He was born, He did live a sinless life, and He died for me. And because of Him, I have Hope.
Hope of Heaven.
Hope of true rest and no more pain.
Hope of eternity with Him.
Hope to see my Caden again.

So this Christmas, while I soak up and praise God for all the many ways I experience "my Christmas warmth" I am also praising and thanking Him for my Hope... the Hope that started with a baby, was solidified by a man on a cross and will end when He returns to take me home.

Thank you, Father, for your plan and provision.. for your Hope.
Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

And to think... it all started with a baby.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

A little about the wee one

Wee One: Ryder Andrew
Due in just 4ish short weeks.
The babe we have nothing ready for.
We had an ultrasound on Monday and were able to view our newest addition. He is head down: very good news because they thought he was transverse... or maybe breech.  He is, fortunately, none of the above. Head down and ready to go...or at least he feels like he is ready...he is causing me large quantities of pain... when he moves it feels like his foot, or his knee, or some other appendage or body part will just shoot right out of my side, or something. Anyway, it is very painful... and there is nothing they can do.
One reason he might be causing so much pain is because he is HUGE. Ryder is already 6 & 1/2 to 7 lbs. He is considered in the 94th percentile at this point. My Dr. brought up the subject of induction as to avoid birthing a babe the size of which might be worth mentioning on the cover of a tabloid magazine. I am fine with that... the induction part, not the part about being on the cover of a magazine in the Wal-Mart check-out lane, thankyouverymuch.

We have started moving rooms around. Our office is now in the back of our kitchen, and after this weekend the once-was-office will hopefully be painted and become Rigg's new Big Boy Room. My mom is going to help me go through clothes and wash and ready them for Ryder,as well as move Rigg's to their new location... a freshly painted lime green dresser... I know you are just as stoked as me about that!

So, to sum up: Huge baby. Causing lots of pain. Due in 4 ish short weeks. nothing done.
Mother trying not to freak about lack of preparedness.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Confessions

Do you ever go back and re-read your old posts?  Sometimes, I get caught up in reading about my life... I am a nerd. It is always interesting to me to see where I was and what God was teaching me... and where I have fallen into old sin patterns again...
Anyway, I was doing this the other night and 2 old posts hit me in the face and smacked me around a little...

Let's start at the beginning... shall we?

I am in a bible study that is studying Isaiah this year. Just a couple of weeks ago we were in chapter 26. The verse that stood out and was "camped on" so to speak, was verse 3.
Isaiah 26:3  You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
We were asked where in our life we might need peace. Then were told if we, like the verse promised, kept our focus on Christ, we would have perfect peace... the peace only God can give.

Confession #1 I am stupid.
I hem-hawed in my own mind about where I really needed peace. I guess in my twisted mind I thought that if I don't acknowledge an area of need in my own life... then God won't know either...
stupid.

Confession #2 I am scared.
When I finally dug down deep... or just admitted to what I had been constantly pushing aside, I confessed to God (and later to a room full of women) that I was scared.

Well, terrified, really, of having a newborn/ infant at home. I want all the soft quiet cuddles. I look forward to all the firsts, first smile, first laugh, first spit-up on dad... That baby-after-a-bath smell... the sweet angelic face while they sleep.. all the good stuff.
I am terrified about the "what-ifs". What if they get sick? What if they stop breathing? What if... Caden?
scared.

Confession #3 I do not learn.
I was reading a book recently and it had an awesome quote by C.S. Lewis. He said: "We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."
This stood out to me, because this is right where I am.  I trust God... I do, but I want to trust God if He does it my way...and it is painless. In my mind, I have had enough pain. Trust is easier if is is comfortable.
As I was re-reading my old posts I came across this one, ironically titled Trust...
As I read I came to a paragraph that met me right where I was.

"I shared all of this with my friend. She shared with me that the was listening to a sermon recently and it brought up a similar thread. Moses asked God to show him His glory. (Ex. 33:18) Which is a huge thing to ask…and in the sermon the lady said, do you now why we do not ask this same thing from God? Because we believe a lie from Satan. We believe that if we ask God to show us and demonstrate His glory in our lives that it will be too much of a risk…it will cost us too much…God will demand more then we can give or want to let go of. Do you see the lie friends? God is a God of goodness, love, compassion, and mercy. He does things for our good. Suffering is a part of this fallen world…but to the Christian, suffering is never wasted. God brings about the good…because that is who He is…He is goodness."

It even ended with the verse Isaiah 26:3.

Evidently this is a battle I have fought before...
I do not learn.


Confession #4 I have a bad memory (it might just be selective)
As I was pondering all of this, and God was starting to break through some built up walls of pride, faithlessness, and shame... I came across another old post. I stopped to read it because it was about snow, and we had just recently had our first snowfall...
This post was a powerful reminder to me of what God has already done...what He will be faithful to do in my future... If I continue to fully trust and rest in Him and His plan.
At one point in this older post I said:

"Now I know different. To me, the first snowfall is not a reminder of what never was, but of healing and making new, because that is what God is doing. He is taking what was broken in my heart and making it whole. My emptiness is becoming full. Full of faith in His word. Joy in what he has given, and hope for what he has in store."

Where was this lady now? How had I fallen so far in just one year? Where was my trust in His plan? My joy in His work... my peace with His decisions?
I have a bad memory.

Confession #5 I am working on it... or letting God work on me.
I have since declared my pride and inability to "do it on my own" to God... and to a room full of women. I have prayed for God to work in me and through me... to let me truly rest in Him and his plan... No matter what that looks like...for me, my family... for Ryder. I have asked to be reminded daily of His Faithfulness, His Promises...His Hope, His Peace.

As I was washing dishes the other day I remembered a hard/terrifying prayer and confession I made to God about a year ago. Rigg was sick... later we would discover it was RSV and he would be hospitalized for a few days. I was really battling with him being sick and trusting God... and trying with all of my might not to panic. I was in the car on my way to bible study when I openly confessed to God the hardest thing I have ever told him... and I meant it. As I was washing dishes I remembered this painful confession and the feeling of truly giving something up... of handing something over.

That dark winter night as I drove down the highway, I gave my son to God. I told God that I was scared, that I was almost in a panic because of it. Then I told God, in no uncertain terms that I did not want to lose Rigg, or any other child for that matter. BUT then I told Him that I wanted His will more, and even though the pain of losing Caden was still so fresh, I had seen His provision. I had seen His faithfulness... and even though the hurt and pain are almost too much at times... He had brought me through it all. He carried me through and I knew He could do it again. So even though I never wanted to do it again... if it was Gods plan, I knew I would be alright... and I gave it up.
And the confession scared me... but it felt right, to let God have His rightful place... as terrifying as it was.

So as I stood in front of my sink, bubbles up to my wrists, washing leftovers from the plates and bowls...I gave God Ryder. Use his life for Your glory... whatever that might look like.
And I would be lying if I said it was easy, or that I was not scared. But Just as I knew a year ago I had done the right thing... I knew it again.

Not that God needs my permission... but it is a step of trust on my part. And hopefully it honors God.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Elmo?

Today we went to see Santa.

Santa looks a lot like my Dad...being that he is my dad. You might remember from last year that we took Rigg to visit Santa/Dad for the first time...


Rigg just sees Pop. Not Santa. Although, this year, the red suit did throw him for a bit of a loop and he totally lost his head. Because after Rigg saw Dad/Santa/Pop he said "Elmo?"


No son... not Elmo...sorry.

It is always fun to go see my dad play Santa. He is so gentle and kind with the kids... and there are a TON of kids. When the Captain and I pulled up into the parking lot it was SO full that people had taken to parking in the adjoining field...and made a bigger make-shift parking lot then the real one. Hundreds of cars... really. I looked at Andy and said "I think it is really weird to think all of these people are here to see my dad."


I hesitate to put this pic of me on here... my double chin and outrageous midsection scream "Don't do it!" but my rational side thinks... "ahh, well, for prosperity's sake..." So please, view with mercy the huge, swollen pregnant lady.


And because I love to remember... Caden, Me and Santa/Dad.

Monday, December 6, 2010

A place for Caden

One challenge the Captain and I faced after Caden died was finding a place for "her" in our home.  By that, I mean, all of her stuff, the tangible things we had that held precious memories.
What do you do with things you want to keep... but you do not displayed in some shrine/alter-like fashion?
We kept all of her pictures up... until Rigg came along and then we had to find a healthy balance. We packed away all of the baby stuff we would use for other kids. All of the girl clothes went into a plastic tub in case we have another girl someday...but what do you do with all of the things that are special to her... the "Caden stuff" no other baby will have?


What I came up with was a memory chest. We put all the things that were just hers in the chest. Caden's chest.  Some clothes... her coming home outfit, her Easter outfit, her paci's... those wonderful/horrible hand molds, and gifts and photos we wanted to keep but had no other place for.


I saved all of the clothes that I remembered her in... and could probably never put another child in and not burst into tears...and I had a quilt made. It turned out wonderfully. The edge of the quilt is the bumper from her crib and the center is all of her clothes. The back is my favorite blanket she would always use.


My friend Stacey made me a scrap book. It is a treasure. It is gorgeous and makes me cry every time I open it up.


We also saved and framed one of the photo boards from her memorial service. It is just beautiful and holds some of our favorite pictures of her. This we hung in the office. It seemed like a good place... somewhere where we can still see and enjoy it, but not in such a place of prominence that it was jarring.


Well, now we are getting ready to turn the office into Rigg's big boy room and I struggled with what to do with her frame. Like I mentioned before, I do not want to make a shrine to Caden in our home. I want her to represented as a part of our family.. not a more important part then anyone else...

So ...

My friend Mindy and I made another for Rigg... and I plan on hanging them both in the hallway. I will make on for Ryder too, after his first year of life, and for any subsequent children that happen to come along.


Now we all have a place... don't you just love it when everything works out.... and in such a stylish manner too!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

the XBOX debacle

Tuesday November 30th started out as any other "normal" day at the Chastain house.  The Captain was off to work, Rigg was fed and enjoying a lovely 30 minutes of Curious George, I was doing dishes, cleaning up breakfast...mom stuff.

Rigg was playing well by himself, climbing in and out of an empty laundry basket and driving his dump trucks around, so I decided it was OK if I busied myself in the other room for a minute.

It turned out to be NOT OK.

Whilst in the other room I heard a strange clicking noise, made note... did not skedaddle to see what it was. Clicking continues. After a few minutes, I finally get up and go see what it is.

What met my eyes when I entered the room could be considered the most horrendous moment of my being Rigg's mom...

Rigg was sitting on the floor in front of the TV cabinet gleefully whacking the eject slide of the Captains brand new XBOX with his tiny fist.

As I stood frozen in place from shock... he started to giggle.

I think steam might have billowed out of my ears.

I ran* over to him, removed him from the XBOX zone. Firmly stated NO (maybe a few dozen times) and smacked his little hand. I placed him on the couch and turned back to the crime scene... and burst into tears.
( *it was probably more of a fast waddle)

I sat on the floor in front of the mangled XBOX and tried with all my might to get the eject slide to go back in. It wouldn't budge. Whatever Rigg had done, he had done it well. I was gentle... not going in. I was not so gentle... still not going in. As I sat on the floor cradling the broken XBOX, I cried. Rigg sat on the couch cradling his red, throbbing hand and cried...
Appropriate...

I was so upset...the XBOX had been the Captain's birthday present. He never asks for anything, but this year he said he would like a XBOX. So with a good sale and a great gift card and a little extra $$ we were able to get it. He really liked it...played it all of 5 times...

and then along came a 17 month old... and a mom who wasn't watching.

When I realized I was not smart enough, nor talented enough to fix it... I knew I had to call the Captain and relay the bad news... the death of his new toy. He picked up on the second ring... "I have some really bad news. Rigg broke your XBOX. (burst into hot tears) I am SO sorry."

His response... "Oh, is that all, I thought you were going to tell me Rigg got into a cabinet and he drank some bleach or something." 

IS THAT ALL? WHO IS THIS MAN?

He then proceeded to try to calm me down and said it was just a toy... a piece of plastic, that he loved Rigg and me much more then any game...
I reminded him it was a very expensive piece of plastic and that it was something he really wanted and Rigg and I turned out to be much cheaper per use then the XBOX... I am not sure why I was trying to persuade him to be angry or upset... I just knew I was both of those things, and I hadn't even played the thing. He continued to say he was not upset... these things happen when you have little children ( I was thinking... they shouldn't if they had a mother who was watching them!) and that it was going to be OK.

He was right. I called the store they said it was returnable... we went out last night and exchanged our broken, sorry excuse for a gaming system for a(nother) new XBOX.

The Captain suggested we put it on top of the TV cabinet this time. I agreed.

When I recounted this story to a close friend, she replied. Well, that is the response of a man who has lost a daughter and has had brain surgery... perspective and priorities...

God had much mercy on me yesterday. I am so thankful... for a really great return policy, for the store having one in stock, for a husband that didn't even flinch at my "horrible news", for a husband that is a GREAT example of what I should be and how I should forgive, and for a moment I can now look back on and see how much God cares for me... even in the "small" things of life.

I just hope He doesn't have to care for me in that way again...

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Thanksgiving ~ 2010


So we got a family picture this year... I remembered to charge the battery!
And let's not forget one with the belly...
If you look close, you can see Rigg got another spiffy haircut. He did well, until about halfway through when he vehemently exclaimed that he was "all done". I think the new "do" makes him look like a little man.


Rigg just LOVES his daddy... when the Captain comes home after work, Rigg squeals and breaks out in a jig of joy. Incidentally, I never get that sort of welcome home from him...

Now, an introduction...
This is Miss Macy. Miss Macy's mama {say that 3 times fast} is one of my dearest, longtime friends.


 She and her husband, and now Macy, live in NY, so visits are few and far between. You might remember I was visiting Macy's mama and daddy when I was unceremoniously whacked in the head by a metal bar from the mall ceiling... if not, that's cool...I forget sometimes myself, let's just hope the memory loss is not a side effect from the incident...
ANYHOO
I got to meet Miss Macy for the first time this Thanksgiving. She is just 5 weeks old and a beautiful wee thing!
She and I have a special connection... I am not sure what it is, but I really liked her so I am sure she will feel close to me all her life.
You can follow Miss Macy and her life of adventure and intrigue right here if you are so inclined.

This Thanksgiving was a good one. No big highs or lows, which is good I suppose. We are still eating off leftovers. We are still wishing for the days daddy is here all day to play. We are still missing our precious Caden like crazy and I am sure we always will. At least until the day where we will all be together again... singing Praise and Thanksgiving to the One who is worthy.

Revelation 5:13
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying: “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!”

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Charlie

So did ya'll know I have a niece? Probably not... since she is new...brand spankin' in fact.

Charlotte (Charlie) Caden Detig was born November 27th at 11:41 am. She was(is?) 7 lbs. 8 oz. and 19 in. long.


Both mom (my sis Sara) and the wee babe are doing well.

If you want more details and many, many more pictures, head on over to Sara and Ryan's blog... now Charlie's blog too!

Monday, November 22, 2010

to be restored

This time of year is one of my favorites. I love Thanksgiving. I also get a bit giddy at the time leading up to Christmas. All the family gatherings and the lights and the "joyous" spirit of the season is slightly infectious. I love all the holiday food and the sweaters and the scarves...the first snowfall is like something out of a fairytale... until you have to clean off the car and drive in it and it gets all black and yucky by the side of the road....but I digress.

I am really looking forward to this year and sharing so much of what I love with Rigg. I know his "firsts" were last year, but this is the year he might really get into it, or at least show an interest. Last year he just looked cute in his red sweater and Santa hat... this year he can "participate". Whatever that may look like.

As much as I am anticipating sharing this Thanksgiving and Christmas with my son, it makes me ache for Caden. I have been missing her SO much lately. Almost everything makes me tear up and it takes all of my energy not to become a snotty, mascara running down my face mess. I am constantly getting angry at people in my head because they do not seem to be missing her as much as I am right now... or they do not realize I am having a moment...how dare they not join in... or whatever. This kind of thought pattern and behavior is very much not like me. I am almost at a loss of how to deal with myself. It has made me moody and slightly grumpy, and sad... because I want to see her face and touch her hair and hold her hand...

and I can not.

I get upset when I start to panic about having 2 little ones at home. I think to myself "you should have already dealt with this...you should have 2 at home, this is really your 3rd.". But reality is, although it is my third, it seems like my second. Although I should know how to cope with multiple babies at home, it is going to be a new experience.  And I get angry and jealous at others who have already gone through this part of parenthood... because I should be there with them...

and I am not.

And then I get all frustrated and mad at myself because of what I am thinking and how I am responding. I realize this is a "Cari needs to deal better and get a right attitude and heart before God" matter. I am fully aware that I am struggling and the only thing really holding me back is my pride, my arrogant heart... my want of recognition for what "I have been through". I know I need to fully accept God and His sovereignty over my life, I need to bow completely to His will for me and give Him all of the glory, all the recognition... all the control...

but I have not.

You would think that I would have already dealt with this by now... and to be truthful, I think I have to some degree. But I also think this is something that I will battle over and over again my whole life. I think some battles will be easier won then others. I think some days it is going to be easy to show grace to others and to myself for comments or just the situation at hand. Other days are going to be hard. Or, like now, some seasons are going to be hard.

I also know there is One I can go to for all of the mess I have recited above. I know He listens and cares... and wants me to come to Him. I know He is waiting for me to come and lay my pride and frustration at His feet, to accept His mercy and forgiveness, to give up my "assumed" control. He is waiting... I need only to go.

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.


Matthew 7:7  “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

I know my God is faithful. He has proven Himself over and over. I am the unfaithful one. Even though I know I have fallen... I know He is there to pick me up and lead me...waiting to heal and restore me again... I only need to go.

What about you, friends? Do you need healing and restoration? He is faithful, he is trustworthy, He is there...He is waiting... you only need to go.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Did my absence make your heart grow fonder?

(Warning: this post is a bit all over the place. I accomplished the following post in 3 different sittings: although on the same day... it is a bit disjointed. I started it at 8 this morning and finished it  around 4 this afternoon... the biggest gap being taken because my precious son turned the computer off mid-sentence on me....just an FYI.)

The Captain has repeatedly hinted that I am allowing too much time to pass between posts. I am not sure why he cares so much... he knows what is going on around here!

My biggest hurdle lately has been a change in schedule. Rigg has dropped his morning nap and I am struggling to adjust my day accordingly. I used to use that morning nap time to shower, do my bible study, write a post, or just have some nice "me" time... but alas, this is no longer an option. Needless to say, I am falling behind in all the previously mentioned categories.... none so gruesome as the shower and personal hygiene arena... but I digress.
( Just to prove my point, I just had to take a 10 min. break and go discipline my son for taking all the DVD cases out of their designated spot as well as change a poopy diaper... now I ask you, how am I supposed to get anything written that has some sort of point when I cannot sit and think things through?)

The past couple of weeks have been filled with colds, coughs, sinus nastiness and Dr. appointments. The Captain has been having some increasingly annoying symptoms since his brain surgery a year and a half ago. His main issues are headaches, blurred vision and dizziness. Because his last MRI was clean his Dr.'s are going to be doing some tests to rule out a handfull of other possibilities. If you think about it, please keep the Captain in your prayers. Pray that the Dr.'s would have clear and accurate results from the tests and that we are able to find an easy answer to Andy's issues.

I told the Captain last night that I am reaching that point in pregnancy where I worry if everything I have planned will get accomplished. I am starting to get nervous that all my sorting, washing, moving, painting and adjusting Rigg to a new room is a bit much to do in 10 weeks...
AND... my clothes are staring to become really tight, short and uncomfortable. The last 10 weeks of pregnancy is NOT a time to go shopping! ( just consider this a warning to all those who see me often... you will be seeing me in the same things, over and over and over again... )

I have really been missing Caden lately. I tear up at her pictures, I cry thinking about her. I am not sure if it the pregnancy hormones coursing through my system, or the time of year, or the fact that this pregnancy is on the exact same track as hers. Or everything together...or I just miss her because she is my daughter... and that ache will always be there. I sat in the office last night watching the pictures on the screen saver roll in and out of focus on the screen. I watched as pictures from my life passed by. What seems like my past life and my present one. With Caden... without her. With Rigg... without Caden. Never together, not here, not now... but someday.  I was a snotty, slobbery mess when the Captain finally turned it off and pulled me out of the room.
I have had a few sad moments in conversations with strangers. I have gotten to the point in this pregnancy where people assume I am due any day. Eyes bulge when I tell them I have over 2 months left. I reply that this is my 3rd and usually that is that. Or someone just assumes that (if I am with Rigg) it is my second and they ask if I know what I am having. When I reply boy they say" all boys!" (I am not sure what that is supposed to mean... good? bad?) As I walk away from these short and very insignificant interactions, I think to myself, the "outside" world will never know I am the mommy to a little girl. And even though I know people know and people remember... it still makes me sad. I have been thinking about having 2 boys in the house and I am getting excited about meeting Ryder, but it does pull at my heart to walk past the pink sweaters and the frilly Christmas dresses in the stores. I just miss little girl things... well, I just miss my little girl.
Although I know I must carry on, ache and all. I know it is really just a brief time compared to what is to come, when I can spend eternity with her. Some days, it just seems like a really long time to wait.
Lord come quickly!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

ketchup (catch up)

Where to begin....

We had an ultrasound last Thursday. Ryder looks good and healthy and is still a boy! ( I make them check!) He does seem to be a big boy, possibly following in the steps of his big brother. Ryder is in the 86th percentile. He is weighing in at 3 pounds (and we still have 12 weeks to go.... oh boy!)
I was supposed to get my glucose test done then too, but I got sick...really sick. Turns out I had a bout of the flu. Not fun when pregnant.  I was out of commission for Thursday and Friday with a recovery day on Saturday. By Sunday Morning I was feelin' great.
I, being the sharing kinda gal that I am, have passed it on to others... Your welcome. Rigg and the Captain seem to be just fine thankyouverymuch.

The Captain had an MRI last Thursday as well (it was a strange day). We got the results back late yesterday and everything looks crystal clear! Good news... always a blessing!

Rigg was a Colts football player for Halloween. He was super cute... you'll have to trust me on that. I did bring my camera...but I forgot to charge the battery. I think the Captain might have a few pics on his phone, so maybe later...
The Captain and I joined Rigg and were a small Colts team... I wore one of Andy's jerseys... it was picture worthy, let me tell ya. I could just kick myself over the camera battery... my pregnancy brain is working overdrive lately!

I am starting to get more and more small things done for Rigg's big boy room. It is going to be an undertaking, that is for sure. We have to move all kinds of things around. Like: the office is going bye-bye and the computer is going in the kitchen and then we have to paint and... are you getting tired just reading this list? And I only have what? 80 days?

I think it is time for a nap...

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Have a Happy Birthday Captain!

Today is the Captain's Birthday!
 He dislikes birthdays, so I thought it only fitting to share his with the bloggy world and the Internet... (your welcome Captain!)


If you feel like you do not know much about the Captain... you can read more about him here and here.








If you do know him, or feel like you do, or wish you did...then leave a Birthday comment for him... He will really enjoy it! (said only with a small amount of sarcasm!)

Have a Happy Birthday Captain! I am so happy, nae, lucky, to be sharing your birthday with you, as well as all the rest of our days! I love you!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

He must really like me

A friend called me a week or so ago and asked me to describe my first year of marriage. The first words that came to mind were easy and fun. I went on to tell here why I thought so. We chatted for awhile and then she had to go, but I kept thinking about it.

A couple of nights later I asked the Captain the same question. He said it was easy... so I told him my response. He just nodded in agreement. So I then asked if he thought it was fun... He replied "it's always been fun."

I laughed out loud. I laughed until my side hurt. I am not sure what I found more amusing... the fact that he thought so, or the fact that I believe the exact same thing or the visual I get when I think of telling someone else all we have been through and how we both think marriage is fun!

Either the Captain really likes me, or brain surgery left him really messed up in his head!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Easy Ryder? Possibly not....

As stated above in the handy dandy baby count down device, I have about 3 months left. And it is a good thing it states how far along I really am...because if you saw me, you wouldn't believe me...

I am big. Getting bigger. On the way to ginormous.

Don't believe me? Well I had a Dr. apt. just last week and I am measuring 4 and a half weeks ahead... go ahead, read that again...
4 & 1/2 weeks people!

I have an ultrasound next Thursday morning to see "how big is this kid?"

Ryder is very active. He kicks and punches and stretches and flips more then I can remember either of my other kids doing. I am torn between loving it and being annoyed by the constant shifting of my midsection... most times, I am both at the same time.
I am starting to get really stoked to see his little face. I ponder out loud to the Captain.. "Will he have hair?" "Will it be dark like Caden or light like Rigg?" "Will he have rolls and chub like his sister or be long and thin like his big brother?" "Will he weigh more then me when he is born or does it just seem like it?"
Then after I sit and think about how much I love him already and how I cannot wait to meet him, I go stiff and silent with fear about having another baby. What were we thinking? How do people take care of two at once? I am already on my way to being known as "the crazy lady married to that ex-con" (for you ,Captain. : P) how will I do it?
Then Ryder kicks my ribs and I get excited all over again...

Maybe this is why I am so tired.

We have decided to keep the nursery as-is and put Rigg into a big boy room.  I am working on getting everything together and will share my design plan as soon as I have pictures and some progress with the project. Know this... you will love it!


But, for now, I will sit, enjoy the baby karate class going on inside my belly and pray that come January I still have my sanity...

This picture makes me laugh...So I thought I would share...

Monday, October 18, 2010

His favorite thing...

 Meet Rufus.
Rufus is Rigg's all time most favoritist thing in all the world.


Rigg and Rufus go everywhere together, that is, when mom and dad allow it.


You see, Rufus used to be a bed time only dog.


However, recently Rigg has been asking very nicely, or whimpering pathetically for his best friend to come along on his many adventures.


How can a mama say no to this face? And really, is there any harm in letting a boy and his dog be together?


Well, the only harm I can find is how sopping wet Rufus gets...really, it is quite gross.


Rigg simply lights up when Rufus is in sight... He then squeals with delight and buries his face in Rufus's side.


Best friends really should do everything together... it helps the bonding process and solidifies the friendship...


Let's just hope Rigg and Rufus have a falling out before High School.