Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Unobservant Andy

Oh, my goodness! It has been so long since I have even touched my computer... I have been busy, and all my free time I try to spend with the know, cause I love him and all...

Rigg is now officially up and crawling. He is EVERYWHERE. I went to the bathroom the other day and left him in the living room (when ya gotta go ya gotta go) and when I finished he was all the way in the office. He crossed the living room, the dining room and went down the entire hallway....crazy boy.

I do have a great video to show you. I have titled it unobservant Andy... Enjoy!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

abundant life

Life has been crazy at the Chastain household lately... Boy, do I have some stories to tell, but for this post, I will share about a short trip.
This past weekend I flew to Dallas for a friends wedding. I had a wonderful time. (hopefully pics to come soon.)

It was my first time in the big D.  I was without Captain and without Rigg... a mini mommy vacay. It was SO refreshing. I was privileged to be part of the wedding party and spent my entire weekend with the other girls in "the line-up".  I was one of 2 mommies in a 7 bridesmaid party.  It was nice to step out of my mommy bubble and spend some time with girls who have a bit more freedom then me...or at least a different schedule and perspective. It was so neat to see what God was doing in their lives as well as learn about each one of them. I love it when you meet people for the first time and it feels like you have known then a lifetime.

The weekend was spent in deep conversation, good food and MUCH laughter.(as well as me and another girl pretending we were in a musical for awhile!)  God was glorified in the random errands as well as the ceremony. Prayer was abundant and joy overflowing. I was blessed by being a part of it all.

Mostly joy and laughter flooded my soul this weekend. I am happy beyond belief for my friend and her new husband, her new name, the start of her new future...
there was only one moment of self-focused sadness. During the rehearsal dinner a beautiful slideshow of the couple was shown. Starting with the bride-to-be from an early age and watching her grow through snap shots of her life. As pictures after picture of my beautiful friend filled the screen, my heart sank a little and my eyes started to tear up. Pictures of her swinging, playing with her sisters, cheerleading, dances, trips, with friends and family... all flashed by with the clarity that I would never get the joy of sharing Caden's life in pictures at her graduation, or on her wedding day. I will never have pictures of all my family together, or my children. I'll never see her arms wrapped around friends and loved ones, I will never hear her sweet voice whisper words of love and encouragement. The thoughts and realizations of what I will miss out on and what I must live without weighed heavy on my heart as I watched a Godly woman live out her life in pictures on a screen. I was grieving and jealous for that life for my daughter...and me. I struggled in the corner of the room trying to calm myself and keep control of my emotions as I watched the slideshow roll into the grooms photos. I prayed God would grant me joy for my friend and quickly mend my freshly broken heart. I dabbed at my eyes so my makeup wouldn't run and I could look half way normal. I took deep breathes and my sadness started to ebb. Big hugs and shared tears of a friend helped to apply the final band-aide for the evening. The reminder that although God has chosen this path for me, He does not want me to crumple under the weight of pain and hurt. The night was topped off with belly laughs and more singing... I am happy to say that my life contains much more joy then sorrow and more laughter then tears.

John 10:10
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

runny mascara

I only broke down two times today.  I think that is pretty good. The first time was this morning when I was getting ready for church. The Captain wished me a happy Mother's Day, to which I responded thank you, and then he asked me how it felt to be the mother of two...and my response was a very sad, no different then being a mother of one. Because although I have 2 children, I have never had the privilege of caring and raising them together. As I realized how sad that was, I burst into tears...right after I had finished applying my non waterproof mascara. So to help me recover quickly I immediately set to work on making Rigg laugh...a highlight as well as a joy of sons contagious giggle.
The second time was speaking with my pastor at church. He told me he had been looking at Caden's picture that morning and was praising God she was with Him...but sad that we could not be with her today... the hot tears escaped my eyes again... more mascara gone to waste... I was sad she was not here too.

I was able to spent time with my moms own wonderful mother as well as my wedded-inherited and luckier-I-could-not-be-for-it-mother. I was able to give them gifts I had been itching to pass along. It was a secret for so long... 
As you may know, I am blessed to be friends with a wonderful photographer...her blog link is on my sidebar. (IndyPhotograhpy) She is not only a great photographer (which she undoubtedly is), but one of the most tender hearted women I know. She has been a prayer warrior for my family and a great comforter to me. I have not only grown to like Heidi, but I have fallen in love with her as a friend. It doesn't hurt that we both share a wicked sense of humor and find not only each other, but ourselves very funny...

Here are a couple shots I love... Hop on over to her site and see more. You can also read her touching words and see her heart for yourself.

And Heidi, I sure hope He has a camera too...

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

wha' choo lookin' at?