Thursday, April 28, 2011

3 posts in 1

Twas love at first bounce

Ryder has been telling me in gradually louder and more persistent yelps, grunts and squeals, that he needed more stimulation.

(I was slightly taken aback at first... I mean, who needs more stimulation with Rigg around, but hey, maybe that is just me.)

(anybody else think he looks a little like a bull dog in this pic? cracks me up!)

So, heeding his plea, I went in search of age appropriate baby gear... enter the Sassy seat doorway jumper.
A favorite of all our offspring (as exampled below)

and as you can see, Ryder finds bouncing, twirling, swaying and, I dare say, just being in an upright position positively delightful.


All growed up
Spoofer no-more

Rigg has always loved his spoofers (spoofers = pacifiers (we give things weird names...probably because we are weird))

For almost a year now he has accepted the fact that spoofers stay in bed and are only for "nigh-nigh".  At least that was the deal until just 2 days ago, when that Captain and I decided it was time for our oldest baby to become a little man.

he was a tish bit confused when bed time rolled around and no one handed him a spoofer. He started to become alarmed when we kissed him and headed for the door...and still no spoofer. When we closed the door we heard a very loud, whinny "oh, no!"
and then crying
then silence
then "oh, no!"
then silence
then wailing (mom and dad go in to comfort and say" it's Ok buddy, you are doing great!" then leave without giving over the spoofer)
then short, ragged breaths and the sucking in of snot
then crying
then "oh, no! oh, no! oh, no! oh, no!"
then crying
then silence
(repeat for an hour and a half)

all "nigh-nigh"'s since have been sans tears over missing spoofer.

such a big boy!


A celebration for Ayden

blogging has brought me much happiness and joy... no more so then the dear, sweet friends I have made. One such endearing soul is Lindsay.  We have bonded over blogging, mommy-hood and grief. Her sweet, sweet boy Ayden would have been 2 yesterday.
Lindsay lives too far away for me to hug. (and/or eat big helpings of chocolate with) So we tried the next best thing...

(remember to pause the music at the bottom to hear the video)

It is always nice to know your child is loved and remembered.
and Ayden is. Loved and remembered.
Happy Birthday sweet boy!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

3 comes before 4

I do know how to count.
Truly I do... therefore, I am well aware that Ryder's 3 month pictures and whatnots need to be declared before he reaches the ripe old age of 4 months... which is rapidly approaching.

for prosperity's sake I should mention that Ryder turned 3 months old on April 14th... yup, almost 2 weeks ago. (as stated above... I am a tish bit behind)

Although there is no formal Dr.apt at the 3month mark in which to get accurate stats, by happenstance, I know the exact approximate poundage and lengthage of my youngest offspring.

Ryder Andrew is weighing in at the 17 pound mark. He is round and squishy and hides things like lint and other fun goodies in his rolls and crevasses.

He is around 27 inches tall give or take a few dashes.  Which puts him in 9 month clothes... some 6 monthers are still OK, but are getting mighty snug.

Incidentally,we just moved up to size 3 diapers... which I should have done long before now. Ryder is king* of the blowout... therefore requesting, by a mere 2-4 outfit changes a day, that I should have just chucked the size 2's no matter what I paid or how many I had left.

Ryder has officially found his hands, which has exponentially increased the slobber and that makes-me-shudder sucking noise. He has even rolled over a couple times from front to back. He is the smiliest kid. He LOVES to talk to you and if you are kind enough to get in his face talk to him... he will reward you plenty with good conversation and even a polite giggle...maybe even a friendly fart... he is gassy!


I tried to get a shot of the boys in their Easter attire before church. It was WAY early... and this is the best shot...

and I have a family shot too... the lighting is terrible... so ignore that, but enjoy the fact that Ryder is now wearing sweat pants instead of his khaki's because the king* decided it was time to make a ruling.

Friday, April 22, 2011

learning to rejoice

I had a small revelation a few days ago. Small but significant.

I was on my way to bible study, listening to the radio. I was enjoying my time alone… allowing my mind to wander hither and yon, when the song Homesick by MercyMe started to play. I have heard this song more times then I can count… but something about it struck a cord this time. Maybe it was the silent car, maybe it was the fact that I can think like a sane person when I have no kids in close proximity, maybe it was my uber cool earrings bouncing the sound to my ear drum with super-fine clarity, maybe it was God nudging me forward… whatever it was, it was a new thought.

The song starts off with the line “You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you”

I was singing along, because I am awesome at car concerts… and then I just stopped, and I wondered,
"Have I really ever rejoiced for Caden? "

The past couple of years I have read a lot about Heaven.  Since Caden died, I find myself not only absorbing the realness of Heaven, but truly anticipating and looking forward to Christ's return and eternity in Heaven with Him... with my Caden.

I think much of my longing to learn and know more about Heaven and eternity stems from a great yearning to sooth my hurt and throbbing soul. Missing my baby girl and wanting her here fills my mind and urges me to find comfort for the ache. Knowing where she is and what I have to look forward to, understanding there is an end to this life and a better, unending existence with her is like the sunrise after a long dark night... providing Hope and calm. Restoring faith for trials ahead, trust for the storms that are to come.

God has blessed me with a peace and comfort about Caden's death. Do not get me wrong.. I did not want it, I am not happy about the fact that she is gone. But... since God  has chosen this road for us, I have learned to be content with His choice. It was not my plan, but I choose (sometimes multiple times each min.) to rest in Him, His will, His choice, His plan.

But peace and comfort given to me are very different then rejoicing for her.

It is gently but firmly dawning on me that if I truly believe Heaven is a better place. Well, that is an is the BEST place... if I truly believe that, then I should be rejoicing that she is there...
not selfishly wanting her here... because that is what that is, selfish...her here just for me, to make me feel better. If I truly love her, and I do, with all of me, then I want what is best for her... not what would make me happy. And what is best for my Caden is Heaven.

All this is still slowly, gently weaving its way into my heart,

and bit by little bit I am learning to rejoice.

Monday, April 18, 2011


I have not yet had the opportunity to post Ryder's 3 month pics and stats... which I should have done last Thursday, you know, when he actually turned 3 months old. sigh... so far behind. I bet you are missing his sweet face though... so here are some I have taken fairly recently...

I have had opportunities galore to laugh til my sides burst because of Rigg. He is bursting with personality, energy and sometimes, utter defiance....but let's not focus on that part.. at least not you, I have to... because, well, someone has to teach him right from wrong... but I digress...

I have also been given the opportunity to share about our sweet Caden. I am a featured blogger over at Life Rearranged. Jeannett is doing a series on infant loss and miscarriage. Every woman who has shared her story has touched my heart. So go on over, read about these women and their precious babies... and praise our awesome God, who not only walks beside us in the hardest times, but heals the hurt and wipes the tears.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

An Apple A Day

an apple a day may keep the Dr. away

but it doesn't keep you from tumbling face first off a slide at the park

and it doesn't take away red scrapes and bruised foreheads

an apple will not rewind time

an apple, will however, make a little guy feel a bit better, you know, after he has used his face to stop  a nose dive...

Thursday, April 14, 2011

stealing spring

Every spring I look out my back window and see the yard next door come alive with color.

It has this tree that buds in tiny lavender goodness.

It has tulips to delight the eye in all colors.

The ground is COVERED in small purple flowers and rich green grass.

I stand at my kitchen sink and gaze at the beauty whilst I wash the dishes.

The other day I thought how sad it was that nobody owns that yard...that no one is enjoying it...besides me, from afar.

It just seemed wasteful.

So I decided to snap some pretty pictures of Gods remarkable and awe-inspiring creation...

then steal some of it.

I made myself a lovely spring bouquet of gorgeous red and white tulips.

I mean, someone should enjoy these is not like they will be around forever...

So today, as I gaze upon my freshly cut lovelies... I am glad I stole a bit of spring.

Monday, April 11, 2011

happy 2nd brain surgery & recovery anniversary

OK, so I missed it. Now it is just by one day... and to be clear, I did remember yesterday... I was to lazy, ahem, to busy to put  up a post.

Yesterday was an imortant anniversary... incidentally it was ALSO  my parents 35th wedding anniversary.... which I totally forgot about. I am tellin' ya, I have lost my mind, and I am afeared it shant be returning anytime soon. (rabbit trail done)

Yesterday was the2 year anniversary of the Captain's tumor and brain surgery. Many of you heard about our family right around this time 2 years ago. And I have made many a bloggy friend since then. I am forever thankful for all of your prayers for our family. I cannot express to you enough how impactful each comment, each prayer, each card, each phone call, each hug has meant to the Captain and me....since Caden, through the brain surgery...the incarceration.... and just through life, which can be hard.

However, today as the Captain left for work... no cancer, no chemo, no evidence of the surprise health crisis of 2 years previous, I took a moment and said a prayer of thanks. Thanks for the Captain's life, for 2 years of precious boys, for the normalcy that has returned...for moments in this temporal life that make me anticipate eternal life.

So, please join me today in wishing the Captain happy 2nd brain & surgery recovery anniversary. Just kinda rolls off the tongue nice and easy, doesn't it?

Happy Life, Captain!

interested in reading about our April 2 years ago?

Friday, April 8, 2011

Caution...ridiculously long post. super cute pics though...

Last week my mother was on spring break... so my sister, who now resides in CA, flew out to spend the week with us and let us love on favorite niece (yes, she is my only niece... but no less a favorite) I do have pictures of me and my sister... but I do not look good in them, and since this is my blog... I, and I alone have the power to decide what makes the cut...
Charlie may be 7 weeks older, but Ryder has about a pound and a half on her...

We spent a day shopping at the mall, which I had not been to since I was17...or something, OK that is an exaggeration... maybe I was 18...or 28... not important, point is... LONG TIME GONE. Also, super excited because I purchased myself a new dress that I fully intend to rock on Easter, thankyouverymuch.

The very next day we traveled a mere 2 hours south and spent a day with my Nana and Paw... my Dad's parents. They allowed us to descend upon their home with 3 small children and enough bags, car seats and sippy cups for a trip to Europe. It was a great visit, I do not get to see them as much as I would like... and it was their first time meeting Mr. Ryder, so it was a significant moment. When my Nana held Ryder she said "When you hold him, you know your holding something" What can I say... he is what one might call... husky.

The very next day the Captain and I took off early later then I wanted to visit Jennie and Nick in Chicago. Also a significant meeting... the Chastain's were meeting Mr. Miles for the first time and the Murdocks were meeting Ryder... and Ryder and Miles were new acquaintances as well, that goes without being said. (Rigg stayed behind and spend some quality time with both sets of Grandparents) We laughed, chatted, ate super tasty Chicago pizza, played games, ate, squished and loved on babies, and walked to the aquarium. All in all the trip was a success...just too short, as all visits with good friends are. (you can check out more pics here.)

As you can see, Ryder thoroughly enjoyed his time at the aquarium.

We got back Saturday night just in time for baths and bedtime... then up bright and early for church on Sunday.

Sunday evening we had dinner with my Mom's parents. This was the first time they had all of their great-grand kids together (besides Caden, who is always missed... but one day, we will all be together, until then it is just a sweet reminder of the Hope we have in Christ.)

My parents also enjoyed having all their grandkids together... although, I am pretty sure, after all the chaos this past week,  they are now enjoying the least for a few days!

Monday dawned all too early for a mom who has been run ragged... and my sister and Charlie spent the day with us. I took some pics of the chubby little girl. (Charlie, not Sara... Sara, you are NOT chubby...)

We had to say goodbye to Sara and Charlie on Tuesday evening. Hopefully we might see them again in July...if it all works out. Until then, they will be greatly missed.
I have since spent my time trying desperately to catch up on laundry and house work (and we all know how much I love house work) needless to say, I am not caught up.. maybe I will be by 2015...ish. Maybe, If I actually do the work and quit stopping to snap pics of my 2 favorite boys... but really, what is more important... clean bowls or time with my children.
EXACTLY... that is until we get some sort of nasty illness from living in filth... when that happens, I might shift my priorities a bit.

clearly, after a bed is made is the perfect time for jumping...

Incidentally, while I was trying to get this post done... Rigg ate a piece of chalk.... sigh.