Friday, July 29, 2011

for the love of popcorn

So, the smell of popcorn makes me gag... walking into a movie theater makes me downright dry heave. I do not so much hate to eat popcorn... just to smell it. So, I usually never eat it... because you have to smell it to eat it. (also, of all the foods out there, popcorn can be hazardous, I mean, how often do you choke on the titty-bitty razor sharp bits of kernel? and let's not forget the fact that after you do eat the popped corn you are picking your teeth like a hill-jack for the next 2+ hours!) So because I do not eat it... it is usually not in our home.

Rigg loves popcorn.

He can eat his weight in popcorn...which is saying something, considering how much he weighs in contrast to how little popcorn weighs...I digress...

Because of the boy, we now have popcorn in the house.

I love my son a great deal. To pop the foul smelling corn that permeates the air with its gag-reflex-triggering aroma, I would have to.

Waiting for the bag to pop and cool is close to torture for the poor boy...
me too, although for a much different reason (see above)

Still waiting...("pees, ahh-con, pees" translated to "lady, how long does this process take?... I just wanted a snack.")

ahhh... the culprit golden kernels of goodness.

I think he might be asking me if I want some... or he might be confused and or terrified at my face of revulsion... hard to say.

But, with a face like this... how can I say no?

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Ryder ~ 6 months ~

Ryder is 6 months old... well, 6 months and 2 weeks, or something really late like that, seeing as everyday life has swallowed up my time in big heaping gulps.

Ryder is such a blessing. I cannot say that enough. He is such a sweet, smiley, snuggable baby. He is also energetic and engaging. He loves to be the center of attention and will demand your full and undivided attention if he thinks he is being, ummm, under appreciated. ( I do not know where he gets these qualities... :)

Ryder can sit (although it is still slightly precarious to leave him sitting unattended) and roll. He can grab your hair or arm, or arm hair... if you have enough... with Herculean strength and precision.  I have very real bruises from his tiny, grabby hands and fingers.

A high pitched squeal. An incredibly loud , ear piercing noise that comes from the very core of his being... this is what he does when he is happy...or playing... or trying to get your attention... or bored.

His stats were in the previous post... but considering that might as well have been 3 years ago with as frequently as I am posting lately... I will re-stat. 29 inches and 21 lbs. 5 oz. He is, what one might call, a big boy.

And when he is done... he is done.

It is so amazing to see how different Ryder is from Rigg. I know each of my children has had their own personalities, but now I have the privilege of having 2 of my children under the same roof at the same time. I guess this magnifies the individual traits and characteristics. My boys are a treasure to me and an indescribable joy. I love seeing who God made them to be. I am blessed to be their mama.

Thursday, July 21, 2011


We're still here.( for the 3 of you who check in daily!) Just nothing to report.

Well, nothing really exciting or newsworthy. It's all non-news I guess.

I had a yard sale. It was HOT. I got a bit burnt... but it has faded to a nice freckled pink.

It is hot here in the Midwest... it has sapped my energy... and my will to post more.

Richard got hitched and no longer lives here... sniff...sigh...
He moved in right before Caden passed and has been through a lot with us. He shall be missed.

The kids had Dr. check-ups today. 2 yrs and 6 mos.
Stats: Rigg: 37 inches and 31 lbs.
          Ryder: 29 inches and 21 lbs 5 oz
          Cari: practically perfect in every way ( I use the Mary Poppins tape measure!)

Oh! I almost forgot the biggest most exciting non-news of all....
We got the dog shaved! No more vacuuming every other day!!!
Ahh, JOY!

And that is the end of the non-news.

Monday, July 11, 2011

The 7 year itch

7 years ago today I was enjoying the 1st full day as a married woman. July 10th 2004 I married the Captain and my status changed forever...
I now get to mark the box Mrs. when filling out official documents.

That's right boys, men who honk at me while I'm letting the dog out and the creepy man who whistled at me as he sped by in his hooptie...

I am taken.

Spoken for.


Linked forever in the Ol' ball and chain.

and my hubby is bigger than you... and loves me TONS... so watch it!

Ahem.... back to my original point... my anniversary. It was yesterday... the big 7...
We did normal family stuff and celebrated GG Kennedy's 80th birthday. It was a good day.

7 years ago I was young... thin and very carefree. I had just entangled myself forever to the man I love and was on my way to someplace warm and sunny and relaxing. With sand and salty waves and the smell of 75 SPF sunscreen... ( I burn like a forgotten dinner if not properly slathered in sun screen)

And yet as I sat rocking the babe yesterday... snuggling his peach fuzz hair and soft new skin, I thought...for this moment in time there is no where in the world I would rather be. Home. With my boys... the Captain, who was relaxed and in a good mood. Rigg who was so good all day and a ball of giggles..and Ryder who warms my heart with his snuggles.  Being amidst the dirty dishes and the laundry, the the dog and the baby was a very good reminder of all the blessings that God has poured upon me these last few years.

And today? ... sure I am happy to be home. But after doing the dishes, 2 loads of laundry, sorting stuff for a yard sale in the 95 degree heat and changing 3 poopy diapers...

I'd rather be at the beach... with the Captain of course!

Here's how we met... and what I think of the Captain...just in case you were interested!

Friday, July 8, 2011

everything but the kitchen sink...or it just feels like it.

A big thanks to all who read my last post, thought to themselves "that poor, poor lady and her stressful life and sinful soul... I should pray for her, her stressful life and her sinful soul.." and then just that. A bonus thanks if you left a comment... consider me encouraged and uplifted, because I was/am!

Because I have been lacking in the regularity and promptness of my posts, what follows may be a tish bit lengthy. Feel free to zone out and/or click off all together... I shan't be offended.

I know I missed his 5 month pics... but Ryder is indeed doing well and growing like a champ.  He will be 6 months old next Thursday!!! Can y'all believe it?!?!!? Doesn't it seem like just a week or so ago he was brand spankin' and squishy new?
Ryder is doing all sorts of non-infant related things these days.  He is blowing raspberries, rolling over (few and far between... but this is mostly my fault, I do not give the little guy sufficient tummy time.) reaching and grasping for things with much zeal and real purpose.
He is also starting to eat real people food... well, food you eat off a spoon and not just food you suck from a bottle. He is still not 100% sure about it. He takes bites, and then shudders after every. single. swallow. like I am feeding him sour patch kids. It's hilarious!

Ryder is also learning to sit on his own. His favorite thing in the world to do is stand while you hold his hands, and possibly bounce up and a down a few gazillion times... but sitting is important we are practicing. He is getting pretty good.

Rigg is getting so big! More and more real English is distinguishable amidst the 2 year old gibberish he speaks. Lately his favorite things are bubbles, running/playing with the dogs, acting like he is driving your car (actually sitting behind the wheel and flipping/hitting/turning every knob and button within reach while turning the steering wheel and honking the horn) and laughing (very forcefully) just because you are.
The other day I found him sitting on the couch next to Ryder... just holding his hand and saying "Hi, baby!" over and over...

He did get a huge kick out of climbing up on my dad's bike. And by climbing... I mean ignoring mommy saying "Rigg, do not touch Pop's bike." and scrambling up on the seat when no one was looking... I mean, really, how did he get up there by himself?

and just for giggles... shoes, camo socks and a bit of cheek...
Artists do have their own style... no?

Our July 4th celebrations consisted of getting together with our parents and setting off some low-key fireworks for the Riggster. (and some killer peach cobbler for myself)

I am sure this is me, being giddy and delirious after ingesting heaping portions of said cobbler...

Twas hot, friends.


But Rigg did enjoy the display of smoke, sparks and pops. He danced to the rhythm of pops and bangs. It was super cute. He about wore himself out just running with the dogs in the back yard. If I had just a smidgen of his energy I would be a much smaller pant size, I am sure... and, consequently,  feel much less guilty about the amount of peach cobbler I consumed.

tried to get a pic of me and the Captain... but this bug kept invading my personal space...getting all up in my grill ~ nope not even in type can I pull that off... sorry~
So we ended up with this... If you look close you can see the little bugger!

Feel free to print it out and display it on your mantel.

OK...if you made it to the end... bravo!
Happy Weekend!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Sunny and Bubbly

It's not so bad.

OK. Truth.

It's not bad at all, really.

I am just not handling it well... or my sunny disposition and bubbly personality have failed to notice they are lagging dreadfully far behind.  I suppose Sunny lost a shoe in the muck and Bubbly tripped in the mire... or something like that.

Life, now, is not hard like some would view hard.  No tornado, no fire, no sick kids... no tumor... no death. And yet I find myself struggling. My friend and I have a half-funny half-serious line we respond with when asked how we are doing... "just keeping my head above water."  and lately, so true. 

The Captain doesn't feel good. All the time doesn't feel good. Not the "I think I am going to keel over and vomit any minute." but the " I just feel icky and all around not great." (with more specific symptoms relayed to those who need to know and could possibly fix the problems...) Most likely you never feel 100% or exactly the same after someone has rooted around in your brain and removed a chunk of what had been growing in there for over a year... but still you hope for some stability... some normalcy... some level of recovery that is not only tolerable but acceptable.

We are still searching for acceptable.  Through meds, Dr. appointments, procedures... and waiting to see if we need to start all over again.  The Captain is tired. Worn out.

I am angry.

Not at the Captain. At our lot... our life... how it has all panned out. How we always seem behind the 8 ball... never getting the leg up... pick your cliche.  I am tired of being the wife of a man who feels icky... of having to deal. Of feeling like I am shouldering a burden too big for me... without an end in sight.

I guess the easiest way to describe what I am so-very poorly dealing with is discontentment.

I am discontent with what God has given me. Which, if we are honest, is just a slap in His face... thinking I know more about what I need or what is best for me then He does... pride.

All of it ugly, really.

I took me quite awhile to realize what I was angry about... for awhile I was just blundering about in a foul mood, not fully understanding why. I chalked it up to never accomplishing anything during my day, taking care of 2 very small children, always being needed in some capacity...but really, those things do not make me angry... they do not change the picture in my mind of what I want or what I thought my life would be...

A Captain who isn't at 100% does.

Big game changer.

I was not (am not) familiar with the play on the field. I feel a bit run over and disoriented... and mad about it.

Now that I have wrapped my mind around the what... I am working on the how.

How do I handle this. How do I behave better... how do I gather up my plans and hand them gracefully and humbly over to God.

How do I trust that this is what's best? This seemingly unending, tiresome, stressful path we are wearily trodding?

The same way I gave everything over before... with the Captain and his tumor... With our precious Caden.

Day by day...minute by minute... thought by thought...

Clearly this is a lesson I have yet to fully grasp. I am just thankful I have a patient, loving and omniscient God who gently nudges and redirects my steps towards Him... and has the power to replace anger, frustration and confusion with peace and comfort.

Maybe today Sunny and Bubbly will catch up...

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.