Friday, January 24, 2014

6 years ago today

6 years ago today I became a mommy for the very first time.

Caden Joelle would have been six today.
She has been gone for so long, yet she is not only in our thoughts daily... she is the topic of many conversations in our house.
Because of Caden I can talk openly of Heaven, Jesus, and even death with my boys.
They know they have a sister...
and they know she lives with Jesus.
They know one day, if they believe in Jesus and the work He did on the cross, they will get to meet her.
Rigg was telling someone just the other day about his sister... and how he "loves her a lot."
Sweet boy.
There have been so many days when I have wished she were here... and all the little things that come along with that. Some days the sadness is still intense... but it is brief. Because God has given so much through Caden. Her life and her death have been gifts and blessings.
Because she is gone, I have a deep, deep longing for Heaven. I have a deeper faith in what God has promised. I know God can be trusted with anything... ANYTHING.
I can share with others about what God has taught me.
I can tell my children about Heaven.
About Jesus.
about life...
Caden was our first precious, sweet, snugly blessing.
A blessing that God continues to grow in ways I never could have fathomed or desired.
She is still talked about, smiled over... and rejoiced over.
Today 6 years ago God began a work He is still completing. In my life God is using my baby girl's life and death to teach me about Himself everyday.
6 years ago today my life changed for the better.
and I am so thankful.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Ryder is three.

(I should apologize for the amount of pictures in this post... but seeing so many great shots of my sweet boy... I'm not at all sorry...) 
Three years ago today I woke EARLY to some discomfort. Turns out... It was Ryder... being Ryder.
He has awoken me early almost every morning since.
This child is a HUGE character. He has the most interesting and strangest grouping of facets to his personality. He is both delightful and frustrating. He is brave and needs hugs of comfort and reassurance. He loves to cuddle but is extremely independent. He is loving and bold. He is LOUD and silly and so much his own person.
The past three years Ryder has grown into such an amazingly passionate child. He knows what he wants, when he wants it, and how He wants it done. Usually I do not meet his standards and he has to "do-ed it." himself.
Ryder operates under one of two extremes. Utterly delightful or uncontrollably upset.
We (or should I say I?) are working on coping mechanisms for frustration and disappointment... a life skill most adults need too.
He loves Lightning McQueen and Mater, Curious George, Mickey Mouse, Minions and all the Madagascar movies. He remembers phrases or lines from these movies and works them into his conversations.
He makes me laugh.
Ryder knows no fear. He plummets underwater and emerges with a belly laugh and a huge smile as he is gulping for air. He jumps high, leaps into the unknown and bounds into places other where kids hesitate.  This is why the child has had to go to the ER twice for stitches and is missing a tooth. Sigh. He is a leader of sorts, but still follows Rigg and plays according to big-brother's rules.
He still falls asleep in your arms given the chance. He loves to cuddle and hug. He has a sweet heart and a wicked-mischievous grin.  
He is curious and smart and usually figures out how to work something before others do.
He loves to be without clothes. If you are not watchful he has already peeled down and is starkers in front of company.

This is the messiest child I have ever seen. He is messy all the time. everywhere. I can wipe his face off and two minutes later he is a mess again. Just today as I was doing dishes he painted his own hair with pink nail polish. No amount of mess, on his own person, bothers him. At all.

He still has a ways to go with his enunciation. I love how he says bible study (by bull tuh D), Autobots (sounds like bubble butts) and his new thing is saying " Dog gone it." when something isn't going as planned.
Ryder stretches us as parents... but he melts my heart with his hugs and cuddles. He looks like Caden and reminds me of Gods goodness and blessings.
Happy Birthday Sweet boy.