Friday, April 26, 2013

I kinda just wanna sit in there and bask in the glow of its awesomeness

Remember when I vaguely mentioned I redecorated my bedroom ,in passing, and did not give satisfactory information or details?


Well I did... both of those things - vaguely mention it... and I redid my bedroom.

And it is splendid.

My former music/choir/ SHOW CHOIR teacher came and helped me.

It might have been the most fun I've had, in, oh, I don't know... EONS!!!

(I'm feeling dramatic today...)

At least it was the most fun I had in eons until we joined forces yet again to completely overhaul and redecorate my sis-in-laws apartment.
And then that became the most fun I've had in EONS!!!!!
(more on that in another post)

Let's chat about my bedroom in its horrible "before" state.
It was horrible.

The walls were a mossy green, which was not terrible, except I hated it.

The walls were covered in a random hodge podge of left over whatevers... there was no rhyme or reason to the room... it had no direction, no personality, and it felt like a cave.

It was a hole that was sucking the very soul out of my being...

Then I repainted my dinning room and fell in love with Sherwin Williams' SW6073 "perfect greige.
So much in love with SW6073 did I fall, that I used said color in the painting of the chevrons.
And then I had aspirations of using it to lighten and brighten and make happy my bedroom.

So Mrs. N came to me and asked if she could help me.
I was excited beyond words at her kindness. Not to mention I knew the lady had incredible style. I was, however, to be schooled in her affinity for all things hardware and able to help hang any object known to man. She has a magic tool box that holds the wonders of the hardware world for a decorator...

We started by repainting, and then we went on to hang sheers and mirrors and pictures and lamps and cover stools and reupholster headboards... or headboard, rather...
It was a glorious two days of work and creative outpouring.
I was in my own personal here-on-earth-heaven... Redecorating...(contented sigh)

People, I cannot put into words how much I love my bedroom now.
It used to be the room that I avoided. Now I kinda just wanna sit in there and bask in the glow of its awesomeness.

I wanted a grey and white scheme with pops of aqua and tangerine. And we did It!!!
The only thing that stayed as-is was my aqua dresser and my white bedding. My dad and I made the headboard together just after the Captain and I were married, so I really wanted to leave the main wood section untouched...  I was all for reupholstering the inside, fabric section though.

I saw a small version of a mirror collage and I knew I wanted to try and replicate it in a massive way.

We found the cutest little stool at an old junk shop. I recovered it in a great print. It is so cute sitting there in the corner, just waiting for someone to come and perch on its fluffy amazingness.

Some of our most recent family pics are on display above the dresser. I love the black and white images in the white frames.

Mrs. N also got these great tangerine colored knobs that we added to the dresser... just a small thing, but it gives so much pop. and personality. And it makes me wildly happy.
Orange knobs... who knew they could brighten my whole day?

Even the bitty bowl of tid bits is adorable!

 All the maps went on the big wall. We hung some silver cord over mercury glass drawer pulls and attached empty picture frames. The frames are hung to highlight the places the Captain and I have been together. One covers some countries in Europe, one the US and another some islands in the Caribbean.

The amazing hanging light you see on one side of the bed needs a mate mirroring it on the other side. I picked up that spectacular one at IKEA for another use altogether... so I need to make a special trip to get another one. Stupid stores that don't ship...

Well, that's it! A tour of sorts of the bedroom makeover. 
Now instead of sucking the soul out of me, it is a place where I can go and BREATHE.

Wonder what the Captain will let me redo next?

Monday, April 15, 2013


I've been struggling with the everyday things lately.

Just being a mama is making me tired and worn. I snap at my babies too easily, I get angry too quickly, I find resentment in my heart daily.

And it makes me sad, it makes me feel a bit like a failure... as a mom, as a wife... as a follower of Christ.

I know from the outside it seems I may have "too much" on my plate.
But the reality is, this is what God has called me to right now. This moment... this day... this trial.
He has asked me to be a mommy to two amazing little boys, He has given me the role of wife to a wonderful husband, He has laid before me the task of trusting in Him for my future... for the Captain's future.

This is what He has asked of me right now... and I need to accept it with more grace. I need to bow to this decision that was not mine and take it up with more joy.

These things are very possible... I just need more Jesus to do it well.

I need to take more time to be with Jesus, in prayer... in study of His word... in acting out what I know to be right and true as opposed to acting upon my fleeting feelings.

My children should not bare the brunt of my sin.
My husband should not suffer from my lack of acceptance of what God has given.

People keep saying... you just need a break. And I agree... I do need breaks, and I have gotten more than I deserve. But I know my heart... I know my struggles... I need to accept, I need to humble myself to God's will for me.
I need to quit acting like a baby.

And this is going to take effort and time.
And trust in the God who loves me more than I can fathom.

On the way to church yesterday morning a song came on the radio. It is a song that I have heard a hundred times. I know all the words, I can sing it without thinking really... but yesterday while my boys were in the back giggling to each other and my coffee was warm in my hand, I heard the words afresh.

" What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy? What if trials of this life, the rain, the storms, the hardest nights, are Your mercies in disguise?"

I am given a rare gift... a chance to embrace a thirst that cannot be satisfied here. I have been granted a longing for Heaven that aches in my heart daily. Some days it just hurts to be here... and this hurt creates in me a desire, so great, for what I know to be true... a life forever with Christ.
The mercy of Christ in my life is the gift of drawing me closer to Him through trial and hurt.

"Yet Love is way too much to give us lesser things. What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears? What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know Your near?"

Some times, most days, I lose sight of the gift... I look upon it not as a treasure but as a burden.
It's all in perspective. When I can change my perspective... God can change my heart... and then my actions...and through that, my life.
And I want a life that reflects God, His character and His Love... not a life that smacks of anger and resentment.

Read the words to this song... let it speak to your heart today.

Laura Story

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You're near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

Friday, April 5, 2013

A horribly long and scatter-brained post... you're welcome.

It's kinda lame that I open almost every post nowadays with an apology for my interwebby silence.

I guess I'm just lame...

This post is just a mish mash of info about what has been happening, how we have been filling our time... how we are doing and random pictures. (truly a though out and organized piece of literary Internet happiness)

I know I've said it before, but sometimes, at the end of the day, I just don't have anything left to give. Sitting at the computer writing a post seems like too much work, emotionally...physically...
I know there are actual living, breathing souls out there who want to know how we are doing, how we are coping... if we are OK. I know I need to do a better job, but most days it seems like so much work to sit and think through, type out and tell how I feel... how we are.

We are fine...

I am tired.

We are hopeful and a bit scared and happy and sad and weary and strengthened and encouraged and struggling and fine all wrapped up in one strange beautiful package.

But mostly, me personally... I'm a bit run down.
Sounds sad and worse than it really is.

A lot of it has to do with being a Mama to 2 young, very energetic boys. Who both are in stages that stretch my patience and wisdom in parenting.
At least I'm hoping they are stages...

The other day I was at Target and Ryder was being Ryder, some woman actually careened her neck around the end of the aisle and stared at me... and my out of control child, but mostly me and my inability to quiet the siren-like wail coming from my son.

Although the boys are trying and confusing and have me wondering how the human race has survived, they are also the source of my greatest moments. Rigg melts my heart and Ryder makes me belly laugh all day long. I am continually in awe of the privilege it is to be their Mama.

Andy has been hit by a typhoon-like wave of fatigue. He has been sleeping about 14-16 hours a day for the past week and a half. It has been rough. It's like being a single parent, (I can only imagine...) trying to keep the kids busy, quiet and away from the person they like most in the world... who they know is a mere 2 rooms away. He seems to be on the upswing though. So we are hopeful that the increase in temperature out of doors will also bring an increase in energy for the Captain.

We had a good Easter. The boys enjoyed egg hunts and chocolate... mostly the chocolate. Rigg kept referring to his tie as a scarf...

We put up a new light in the dinning room... I'm in love with it...seriously.

I've spent a couple of really fantastic days with my music teacher from high school. She came over and helped me re-do my bedroom (pictures on a later post). It has been so much fun, not only to spend time doing one of my favorite things, decorating, but to watch God seamlessly turn a teacher/mentor into a friend. I feel overwhelmingly blessed sometimes.

I bought bright coral pants... I love them. I also feel like an extra in a West Side Story production when I wear them... which kinda makes me like them more...

The Captain had a MRI just this morning. Going into our day my prayer was for calmness and peace, for a clear picture, for wisdom for the doc, that we would leave feeling hopeful and encouraged, that God would be glorified through this "cancer road" we are walking, and that God would heal Andy totally and completely.

We saw the doc right after the MRI.  The pic looks the same if not a bit better than a month ago.  It was good news. We are slowly headed in the right direction. The cloudiness that is swelling and radiation still hanging around his tumor bed can be there for up to 6 months after treatment.  So we now have a new baseline. God was faithful and showed His undeniable goodness to us again today.

Thank you for all of your prayers. We are fantastically overwhelmed with Gods provision and love for us through His people.