Monday, December 6, 2010

A place for Caden

One challenge the Captain and I faced after Caden died was finding a place for "her" in our home.  By that, I mean, all of her stuff, the tangible things we had that held precious memories.
What do you do with things you want to keep... but you do not displayed in some shrine/alter-like fashion?
We kept all of her pictures up... until Rigg came along and then we had to find a healthy balance. We packed away all of the baby stuff we would use for other kids. All of the girl clothes went into a plastic tub in case we have another girl someday...but what do you do with all of the things that are special to her... the "Caden stuff" no other baby will have?


What I came up with was a memory chest. We put all the things that were just hers in the chest. Caden's chest.  Some clothes... her coming home outfit, her Easter outfit, her paci's... those wonderful/horrible hand molds, and gifts and photos we wanted to keep but had no other place for.


I saved all of the clothes that I remembered her in... and could probably never put another child in and not burst into tears...and I had a quilt made. It turned out wonderfully. The edge of the quilt is the bumper from her crib and the center is all of her clothes. The back is my favorite blanket she would always use.


My friend Stacey made me a scrap book. It is a treasure. It is gorgeous and makes me cry every time I open it up.


We also saved and framed one of the photo boards from her memorial service. It is just beautiful and holds some of our favorite pictures of her. This we hung in the office. It seemed like a good place... somewhere where we can still see and enjoy it, but not in such a place of prominence that it was jarring.


Well, now we are getting ready to turn the office into Rigg's big boy room and I struggled with what to do with her frame. Like I mentioned before, I do not want to make a shrine to Caden in our home. I want her to represented as a part of our family.. not a more important part then anyone else...

So ...

My friend Mindy and I made another for Rigg... and I plan on hanging them both in the hallway. I will make on for Ryder too, after his first year of life, and for any subsequent children that happen to come along.


Now we all have a place... don't you just love it when everything works out.... and in such a stylish manner too!

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Love it, love it, love it! What a perfect solution and honor to all your children...

Penny said...

Love all of your ways to remember. The quilt is my favorite. I can't wait to see Ryder. :) BTW A friend is pregnant with her second daughter. They are big into rodeos and their daughter is a barrel racer. They are naming this baby Ryder Grace. lol

Maryellen said...

WOW, I am so impressed. Those two ideas are just perfect. Wonderful way to keep Caden part of your daily lives. I know she is smiling thinking of her mom's wonderful ideas.

Nick and Amanda said...

I love the chest.
I have been looking for one like that,
where did you find it?

Anonymous said...

Oh Cari -- very cool post -- loved seeing all of Caden's stuff again - and the boards look great together! Thanks for letting me be apart of it!

Mindy

Anonymous said...

Our God is so awesome, he has given you such grace and blessed you all with good friends!
I love what you did, it is as perfect as it can be, on earth.
Also a great staring place for your boys to learn about thier precious sister!!
Praying for you all... i too lost a baby boy Daniel 25 years ago this past october.We have three adult children now, but Daniel is always remembered.

laurie

laurie

gracekay said...

wow i think the quilt is such a great idea. we lost my niece at 2 years and the next baby my sister had was also a girl, so she put the special stuff in a chest - she also couldn't have some clothes on the new baby without crying, so that special chest sits in her room.
there was some stuff she could pass on to the new baby and it was really nice seeing her play with them and use them. when she outgrew them, they went into the little chest of memories.
thanks for sharing

Julie : ) said...

its beautiful! way to be creative - what a great solution

Stacey said...

way way way way way cute!!! love the idea! you and Mindy make a fabulous team! see you tomorrow my friend

Anonymous said...

Sweet, Car. I haven't seen Caden's quilt before- how beautiful. Your 3 are blessed! - Michele

brittany said...

Beautiful idea!