Thursday, December 31, 2009

God knew what He was doing.

Another year behind us...a new one starting before we can blink. It takes awhile to process a whole year. More time then I have these days.

I have enjoyed 2009. I have loathed 2009. I have laughed and cried through 2009 and I plan on looking back on this past year with slack-jawed amazment at what God has done.

As a Christmas gift for our parents I turned my blog into a book. I added only 4 extra writings. The one posted below is the first page of the book. It sums up how I feel about 2009...as I do about my life,

God knew what He was doing.


It started out so great, this life we started together. Wonderful wedding, the purchase of a new house…a dog. Then one day the news of an impending birth. A little girl. Happy grandmas and grandpas to be…even happier parents to be. Into the world came a gorgeous, plump, dark haired little wonder. Whose child was this? So chubby, so dark …so perfect. It was a continuation of something started long ago…a happy, wonderful life.

Then on an ordinary day, a sunny, warm, perfectly normal day, she went to Heaven. We all thought it was a little early for her to go. We were supposed to go first. It is the natural progression of things, but God knew what He was doing.

Just 4 short weeks later, a promise of hope arrived in the form of a new little life to anticipate and rejoice in. This time a baby boy. A chance to revel in all things blue. It was time to wrap our minds around trucks, balls and sports…to carefully balance joy and grief. A hard thing to do. But God knew what He was doing.

Suddenly the world was shaking. Fast. Hard. Wait, not the world. Just a man. A man who was supposed to be OK, strong, healthy. He was shaken not only in body…but rocked to the very core at the words “large mass” and “brain surgery.” Really, God? Now? But God knew what He was doing.

Recovery seemed difficult and trying at the time. Looking back it is but a blip on the radar scale. Flying colors is a good cliché to use for those 3-4 weeks. He sailed through occupational and speech therapy. He was back to his “old self” in no time. Recovery over…chemo ahead, 6 months. God knew what He was doing.

Baby boy arrived. Huge and perfect. He grew even bigger…and bigger. All smiles, belly laughs and a lover of football…already. He is a perfect balm for wounds still open. A hope for the future, a joy for today. God knew what He was doing.

It started out so great, this life we started together. It has run a different course than we planned. A different road was taken …a path less traveled by. It started out so great, so wonderful … and it continued to be so, because God knows what He is doing.

And even though you know the story from beginning to, well, present day. Here it is, in book form. Read, again, from the beginning. Laugh, cry, run your hands over the glossy pages of our precious baby girl, but in the end, look to Heaven and praise God for all the wonderful things He has done. Because He knows what He is doing.

17 comments:

Barb said...

Amen. Love you! Happy New Year! b

Anonymous said...

Amazing...you have been through so much and yet are so strong in your faith. You set a good example for all of us. Thank you!

Jill

loves2tch@aol.com

Penny said...

Beautiful! Once again, I'm sitting here swallowing a huge lump in my throat. Hope 2010 is a wonderful year for your family, a year of blessings, grace, hope and more healing. Happy New Year. :)

Krista said...

beautifully written Cari! what a happy beginning! Praying for you, Andy & Rigg this new year!
Much love & many prayers from Seattle,
Krista

Anonymous said...

Cari,
As I sit here and read the beautiful and painful reminder of all that God has brought you through in the last year, tears come to my eyes. You don't know me, but I feel like I know you. I am a missionary wife in Japan and came across your blog over the last year and have prayed for you many times. I sit here and so needed to hear you say that He knows what He is doing. I am pregnant with my fourth child and it looks like I am miscarrying. I don't pretend to know what you are going through, I am just so very blessed that you shared that word of encouragement to me today. We are in the middle of packing and preparing to go "home" to Richmond, IN in just two weeks and I am sitting here on the couch trying to give this little one every chance of living. I would love to meet you in person sometime this next year. Thank you so very much for sharing your life with me. God has used you in my life!

For His Glory,

Sarah Pfeil

sarahpfeil@yahoo.com

LisaS said...

I have followed your blog anonymously for about a year, and once again, your grace, strength, and faith have brought me to tears. What a beautiful tribute to your little girl and to our great God. Thank you for sharing your story.

Gretchen said...

Cari,

Isn't it just amazing how many lives that Caden's story has reached and touched? You and Andy are amazing and I know it is only through God's strength and grace that you are amazing.

Boothbloggers said...

Wow-that is amazing! What a beautiful writing, thank you for sharing it with everyone. I have tears in my eyes once again. You guys are such an amazing witness. My faith has grown because of your baby girl, your husbands' tumor,your baby boy and the faith you put in God to see you through EVERYTHING!(found your blog via Kelly's Korner during Andys hospital stay) May God bless you in 2010~!!!

Brittany..Following my Bliss said...

Beautiful.
You have been blessed with a gift of writing.
Your testimony is an inspiration.
Many blessings to you and your family in 2010.

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