Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Take heart

My day has gone downhill fast.

Fussy babies, too much laundry...a slidshow of images of my baby girl gone.

Much tears and wiping of the nose.

Oh how I miss her.  I was reaching out to the screen trying to touch her cheek and I just lost it...
So many good days in a row it was bound to happen. What makes it worse is what I can't remember. Her smell. Her voice, her laugh, how she felt when I picked her up.
Life is long without her...and I am weak and tired today.  She is so beautiful...

God has comforted us greatly. Some days I forget what it is like to hurt like this...other days, it is all to easy to remember. 

I sent a verse to a friend this morning because she was hurting as well and I thought it might be of some comfort.
Psalm 27:13-14

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

I could do to be reminded of this strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
The first time I remember reading this verse is because it was given to me by a friend who herself had memorized it in hard times. She passed this verse off to me, along with others, when I was in college and needed some comfort. God was faithful to His word then...I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD

He will not let me down.

Still, some days it just hurts to be here.
As much as it hurts...I am certain this is right where God wants me...


Lindsay said...

Thanks for your encouragement and for sending that verse to me.

Praying for you, too....

(deep breath)

katherine said...

yes, please give heather my email! i'm starting to wonder if miss priss is also intolerant of soy, so i definitely need insight! and recipes :)

Heidi @ Indy Photography said...

I will never miss her the same way you do, but I miss her nonetheless. Thanks for sharing her with all of us.

I love you, Cari.

oneblessedmama said...

Thanks for the encouragement this morning- every holiday has me missing my sweet little Evan,and crying over my child, even though its been weeks since it has had me in tears, never having been able to hold my baby has my heart aching today,yet I know I shall see my child again- or should I say the for the first time? God is so good!

Anonymous said...

I miss her too babe.

Just Me - The Champion said...

Those pictures... are so precious. What a special beautiful wonderful baby girl God blessed you with. I can imagine that even though the emotionally sad days are a part of a new normal for you... they are still raw and difficult. I feel so blessed when you share pictures of your precious baby girl. And so blessed to know that I will meet her someday in heaven. What an awesome day that will be. I would imagine the hard part about looking for or being confident in God's good plans on this earth is that we all know how much more amazing heaven will be. So in the meantime we teeter between the two. We long for the perfectness of heaven and catch glimpses of it here on earth. Know I am praying for you and I think your precious princess is so wonderful. God bless you girlfriend - jen

Rebekah said...

It is so hard sometimes waiting on the Lord and enjoying the goodness of the Lord in this land of the living when such a huge part of us is in heaven. I hope you find peace & comfort during difficult moments!