A little about the Big Rigg

So the little man still has jaundice. But we have him on the Billi Blanket and his numbers are slowly going down, so all we need is just time and patience on my part.

He is so new, just a little guy, and yet he is already showing some of who God made him to be. He is a quiet little guy. He hardly ever cries. When he is awake he looks so pensive, just soaking it all in. He loves his hands to be by or on his face at all times. I tried to tell him if this is a habit that persists, he will have oil issues that may result in acne later...he does not seem to care.

He is still sleeping an awful lot...but that is just being so little and having some jaundice. He is sleeping really well at night...I am having to wake him for feedings and he is still going back down fast asleep. I have been getting about 7 hours of sleep a night...broken up in increments of 3 hours or so, of course.

We gave him his first bath last night. He fussed a little but no really heavy cries, although some pics look like it. He smelled lovely afterwards. he still has his umbilical cord, but hopefully not for long so I can kiss his little belly to pieces.

He is, I think, slowly gaining his weight back. I am shoving food down his throat unmercifully. Fat babes is what we like.

I have been struggling with small things...it is all worry and therefore lack of trust in God....I am praying and working on it. It is small things, like, is he too warm for sleeping, is he still breathing when I am not watching, does the eye rolling mean anything, newborn twitches make me nervous and I watch him more closely then I had been...things that I cannot do anything about anyway...I pray every night before I fall asleep for God to calm my anxious heart and watch over my baby. I know some of this is normal mother stuff...but some of this is new to me, I never worried as much with Caden. I long to rest comfortably in the Lords will and let Him be in control. But every time I turn around I am trying to yank the wheel from his hands. I look down see my hands gripping, knuckles white and have to force myself to let go...maybe I should try sitting on them...:) that is what my mom would have me do when I was talking too much...I am a hand talker, hard to come up with good conversation without moving your hands.

I was thinking to day that ever since he has arrived I have not felt that it has been a huge change. Maybe because I was taking care of my baby cousin for a few months now, but I think it is more than that. We had his name picked out so early, it was as if we were getting to know him already. It is like meeting a pen pal for the first time. you know they exist...you even know some about them. But when you meet them for the first time, you automatically know more, see who they are and what their mannerisms are like. We love him and love having him around, he has been a part of our family for months, he fit in at first sight.

Thanks for all the prayers for us and my family. Good days and bad have been and will continue to be, bu we have hope that this too shall pass and one day our whole family will be together. Until then we will enjoy the abundant blessing God has given us and praise Him who is worthy.