Tuesday, June 23, 2009

If it is not one thing....

Then it is another... WARNING...this post is long...I am sorry, but there are pics, hopefully that makes up for it!

It is a cruel trick of nature the way things are after you deliver a baby. Or at least after I deliver a baby. There are those women who take their pre-pregnancy jeans to the hospital and actually wear the home...I am not one of those women. You might have given that a good guess by the size of my middle before Rigg arrived. Now that he is here I am smaller, but not as small as I would love to be. To leave the hospital with new bundle of joy in hand and still look 6 months prego is just wrong...not to mention that my feet and ankles are the size of softballs and were not that swollen when I went in...gonna get worse before it gets better...

Ahh how I long to be one hot mama with cute baby attached to hip...this however is not my reality. I did see a chick in target with a super small infant and she was in heels and what appeared to be a size 2...after I picked her up and tossed her out of my way, I hitched up my post prego pants and heaved around her, pulled my shirt down, as it creeps up on its own and went about my merry way. All the while silently fuming that I was not delt the size 2 card.

But my hair and makeup looked nice...any port in the storm.

Rigg is a bit jaundice. His levels were OK bu in the high OK's as we left the hospital. They told me to watch his color and call the doc if he gets more yellow. Well Monday I gave him a good once over and decided I couldn't tell...but now I am a woman who errors on the side of caution...so I called the doc. We went in later that same afternoon and they ordered a billi blanket and a blood test to be taken today. SO last night we had him in the billi and took him back to the hospital today for the blood test. They will send the info to the doc and we will go back to his office tomorrow morning for a follow up and to see how much longer our new little man will be part of his own personal light show.
If you look close you can see the blueish glow under his left arm.

Did y'all know how rough nursing can be...I had not COMPLETELY forgotten, but man...it is work. It is frustrating...it is not working for me! I think some of it is his jaundice...it makes him extra groggy and hard to wake up. So he eats less...when he eats less his jaundice can get worse...VICIOUS CYCLE!!! So we are supplementing with a bit of formula as well as me pumping to make more milk. He seems to eat better from a bottle than me...this is a pattern I see forming with my kids....Caden was a terrible nurser. So if I have to pump and supplement I will...anything for the sake of the babe.


The captain and I are going back our previous pediatrician. We love him. You might remember from previous posts about Caden, but she went to the Dr. the morning she died. He was and continues to be completely dumbfounded. He came to the hospital the night she died to see us...he is a great man. It was not a hard decision to make. We want him to be Riggs Dr. As I was in his office yesterday ( my mom drove considering both the captain and I cannot) it was a bit difficult for me. The captain had gone to work ( he is home for the next few days though) so it was just me and mom. She offered to stay in the waiting room while I went back to see the Dr. I was silently very happy because I wanted to see him without her with me. As I was back in the room waiting for him to come in I stared to cry...maybe it was the post pregnancy hormones, maybe it was stress, maybe it was I was worried about Rigg, but if I am honest it was the fact that the last time I was in this office I was carrying my baby. Only it was an 8 mo. old baby girl and she was breathing and chatting and warm against my cheek. And now she is none of those things...and although as I sat there holding my baby...I also sat there missing my baby. I sat on the wooden bench and stared at a picture of a golf course and told myself over and over again to stop thinking about it, to stop crying. It did not work...I was a blubbering mess when he came in. He gave me the biggest hug. I stumbled over apologies...you see I know how a hysterical crying woman makes men feel. He begged me not to apologize and said he didn't know how I didn't cry 7 times a day...I said he was a wonderful man. We chatted about the captain, for he had heard that news as well, and then we talked about Caden. We then looked at Rigg and chatted about him. I cried a little more, all the while SO very thankful my mother was not there...she would cry and worry about me and I did not need that, for me or her. Although she told me later it was very odd to her to be sitting in the pediatricians office about her new grandson on the 9 month anniversary of her granddaughters death...she was trying not to worry...I think if she would have seen the puddle I was slowly becoming she would not have lasted too long either. The Dr. was so great, and informed me if I stress out or panic with this baby he will be by our side through it all...and if we freak out when Rigg gets a fever...he probably will a little too...I just LOVE him!

SO, we see the doc again tomorrow...and we will determine how long to keep the Big Rigg on the billi blanket. Then in no time flat we will be getting ready for the captain second round of chemo. And the world keeps turning and moving on...and my feet are still swollen. Ahh well, life is still good, If I have to sit around with my feet up, might as well hold my new little man while I am at it!

This was Rigg's going home outfit.


The captain on Father's day with his new son. One of our friends came to the hospital to visit...when he saw Rigg he said it looked like someone had put Andy in the dryer!


Incidentally, y'all should be so thankful for the spell check. Without it your reading would be hindered dramatically because, evidently I cannot spell or type to save my life.

29 comments:

Princess Heather said...

Cari,
I'm so happy for you guys! All these pictures of Rigg are fabulous! I'm sure at this time it's happy and sad at different times. My prayers are still with you and the Captain. Rigg is soooo handsome!

The Bug said...

I love the baseball butt! He is really precious. He won't take the place of his sister (that would be a lot for such a small person to manage), but I think he will be a comfort nonetheless...

Kate said...

Your family is in my prayers during this time of change. I'm glad you've been blessed with great friends, family, and doctors. Rigg is perfect--even if he is keeping you up at night!

Lindsey said...

You guys have been on my mind a lot today. Praying for your adjustment to being at home with Rigg. HE IS ADORABLE!!!

Just Me - The Champion said...

Cari,

I laughed so hard when you mentioned you picked up the woman who was a size 2 and "tossed her". It made me giggle a lot. I am bringing my maternity pants to wear home. And I'll be happy if they are a tad loose on me when I leave the hospital. BTW - both of my kids had to sleep and pretty much live with the billi blankets on them because of jaundice. We called them our little "glow worms." Those little things are tough especially if he has to wear it while sleeping. It lit up the whole room with Grace and Toby. Thanks for this post. A little glimpse into the first few days of being home with baby... and the first doctor visit. Hormones do not help much either. (hence your super human strength to launch the size 2 at Target ;) He is SO darn cute! Keep posting pics. Keep reminding me of what's ahead... and I'll keep praying! peace! -jen

Elizabeth said...

I just want to pick him up and squeeze him all over. I LOVE the picture of Rigg and Andy. I can't tell you how it makes me feel to see Andy so happy holding his son. And incidently, I about died when you talked about throwing the size two woman aside.

Jennifer Henry said...

Okay... I just have to say... Rigg really looks so much like his daddy already! I have never seen a newborn with such a strong resemblance! Still praying for you!

Love,
Jennifer

Stacey said...

Congratulations to you both. He is beautiful. Praying for you as you transition through a wonderful yet painful time.

Penny said...

Good grief, my grandson was ORANGE next to Rigg! His count went down just enough the day after he went home to not need the blanket. Your baby does look like you shrunk your husband--- what a funny way to put it!
About the nursing thing, my grandson had a really hard time latching on. A breast shield saved her from giving up. If you can't find one--- ask your lactation consultant at the hospital. Sometimes the hospital will give you one. Hope it helps.
It amazes me that you went to the same doctor--- not that he was responsible for what happened, but how hard it must have been for you to go there. He must be a great doctor!
Now, go rest and put your feet up. God bless.

The Hillebrands said...

Tears of sadness and of joy all at once. I should stop reading this when I am at work! Always thinking and praying for you. Can't wait to meet Rigg!!

designHER Momma said...

He is so cute! Praying that the blanket does it's job and things are worked out ASAP.

And baseball butt? Adorable overload!

Heidi @ Indy Photography said...

I also laughed when I read about you tossing the size-2 woman out of your way. I would have done the same thing. LOL.

Glad you are home and hoping Rigg will be off his special blanket soon! :)

Call if you need anything.

Sue said...

Your post had me laughing and crying. I loved your description of the mom with the heels and size 2 jeans! I know it must be extremely hard for you....Rigg is such a beautiful baby. I love the going home outfit.

BRiehl said...

He is precious! Just precious! He does look like a mini-me version of your husband! I know what you mean about the pants and swollen feet. Mine were so big I couldn't walk aroudn the house after my first was born. And to look at them was horrifying! And I hated still looking pregnant. I also wanted to chuck size 2 (or even 3 or 4) ladies out of my awy. Add the weirdness of nursing and feeling...sticky...all over from all the changes and, ya know - birthing - and it just makes one not feel oh-so-cute with the little babe:) But I'm sure you are just adorable with your son, even if you don't feel like it.
What a wonderful Dr. It's so important (and so hard) to find a person who truly understands that these are your children you're entrusting to their expertise, and even if they don't know all the answers, understanding and compassion make up for a lot. I'm so glad you get to have a Dr. you trust and who cares so much. Enjoy that baby and will be praying about his eating habits :)

Sallye said...

Cari,

What a gift you are today, to my weary soul.

Praying for you all.

Sallye

Amanda said...

What a beautiful nugget! He's so sweet. Just FYI, I couldn't even get a leg in my pre-pregnancy jeans when I went home from the hospital. I admit it was really frustrating being around other mom's who could! You'll make it I'm sure! Keep smiling - you have a wonderful treasure there!

Julie said...

So you can tell I'm not a mom...cause when I read your sentence about "nursing being hard" I immediately had an image of a nurse running around and stressed out because of the patient load....

Lindsay(s.a) said...

He really is gorgeous!!!

r- m val said...

i love the baseball outfit, and i agree that rigg looks so much like andy! he's so little! i'm so glad that your doctor is on the same page. cry it out girl, you have every right too!

p.s. i would've hit that girl in the size two and i don't have kids. i've never been a size two!

Debby Williams said...

I'm with you! I don't come home in my prepregnancy clothes either! In fact, 6 months out I'm still not in them, but I will be. I am determined I will be. I really struggle with jealousy for those tiny women with small babies. God just didn't create me that way. But some day we'll be hot mama's again even if it's with small children instead of small babies!

By the way, Riggs is adorable! He is definately Andy's clone. And I love his coming home outfit!

Anonymous said...

Riggs is just about the cutest baby boy I have ever seen! And, I've seen a bunch of them being a nanna to 6 little boys. Isn't God good to give us so many blessings.

Tiffany said...

Oh he is precious! And, our family is particularly fond of the baseball butt (my girls LOVE baseball). Don't feel bad about the post-prego size - when my oldest was about 3 months old, I had a woman walk up to me, rub my stomach, and ask me when I was due! I "threw" her across the room much like you threw that size 2 wonder! I've been and will continue praying for you - all of you!

Teagan said...

Cari,

He is sooo precious....I love new babies! Well, I love all babies. Dont feel bad about how your body is....Teagan is 9 weeks old and I still dont fit in to my prepregnancy clothes. I think it will be a while. No worries...all in good time.

I love the picture of his little baseball butt!!! hehe.

You are in our prayers!

Love,
Shauna, Steve and Teagan (Jennie Murdock's friends)

Anonymous said...

Are you supposed to come home in pre-pregnancy clothes? Hmmm....I missed the memo on that one. I think pregnancy hormones, or the size 2 woman who is probably the babysitter and not the mom, must have mixed up the details somewhere, and accidentally added an extra "pre" instead of just pre-gnancy clothes.
Sarah Kim

Justin said...

that's a good lookin' kid man.....I was talking about Andy....oh ya Rigg is also cute to. Ironically he looks just like Andy.

CAPTAIN!!

JW

Katy said...

Such a strong and honest woman.

Continued prayers for you and your family and thank you for sharing the Big Rigg with us all in blogland!

~Kate

Anonymous said...

Congrats on baby Rigg's birth! Love the name! I think your blog is great and I think you seem like a really fun person to be around!
Carley

Katie said...

I am not usually one to comment, but the comment about putting the Captain in the drier had me laughing so hard! He does look just like his Daddy.

Congrats, you two! He's beautiful.

Oh, and you don't know me and I have no idea how I found your blog, but I've loved reading it for some time now.

Katie
katie75009@yahoo.com

Psalm112 said...

He's precious!!!