1. the act of expressing approval or admiration; commendation; laudation.
2. the offering of grateful homage in words or song, as an act of worship: a hymn of praise to God.
3. the state of being approved or admired: The king lived in praise for many years.
These past few days I find the tears are just below the surface. One second I am fine, completely unaware that I even have the urge to burst into hot,crazy, uber-emotional hysterics...and just one thought, one word from someone, one memory, one nothing...can send me in a fast "sinking to earth".
Have these past few days been bad ones...nope. Just normal, if not fairly good days...with a side of sorrow and grief. But I think this is a garnish I have on my plate for sometime to come. It may not be the main course, or even a side..but it is there all the same.
I have to check myself sometimes, lest I fall into a downward spiral and my day becomes one of selfishness and a woe-is-me attitude...I do not mind feeling sad at times, or even to sit and just remember my baby girl...but there is a huge difference between remembering, feeling grief, emoting and feeling sorry for myself and my family. When I start down that dangerous road I give myself a mental slap and re-direct. Sometime I have to physically go do something else, go somewhere else, change the radio station or even call a friend just to talk about their lives...not mine.
I was thinking of this phenomenon this morning while I was crying over a comment some sweet lady left for me...and I decided this is what Tuesdays of Praise is all about for me.
God has given me this life...and I can choose to praise Him in my grief and sorrow...or choose to wallow in self pity. I can let Him hold me aloft in times of hardship...or I can sink into the muck of bitterness and anger. I can allow Him to listen to my hurt and know He understands or I can isolate myself from God and others with the thoughts that no one understands.
I praise God today for the provision He has given me in friends, family and Himself to help me through these some 346 times a day where tears are just around the bend. I Praise Him for His ability to understand and comfort me in His way and timing. I praise Him for always reminding me of the right perspective.
Mostly I praise Him today because I know, this pain and sorrow will end. I will someday see my baby girl again, and when that day arrives I will cry no more tears, I will slam no more doors, I will run to no more bathrooms to escape...I will fall on my face in praise and honor of the One who deserves all I can give.
And that day, my friends, will be the sweetest day indeed.
Lord, come quickly.