Thursday, May 7, 2009

Ramblings and whatnot

So, I must try to keep you all updates on things I say I will. You know, I do try to be a woman of my word. As it turns out I DO NOT have high blood sugar...HEY!!!! HElllllooooooo golden Oreos!

I am getting ever so much bigger with the impending arrival of my son. My waistband ever widening, my stomach ever protruding, the comments never ceasing...

You might notice the new text I have over to the side that says, For Nate: followed by a date and a number...the number is the inches around I have now accumulated. 43! 43!, you say...well do not get too overheated, I was 48 inches in circumference with my daughter Caden...on my due date. And I was a tish bit overdue by the time she graced us with her presence. So, I have 7 weeks left after tomorrow and 5 inches...will I make it? Will I get bigger? Stay smaller? Who knows, all I know is I am still big enough right now to get some hysterical looks when I tell people I still have 7 weeks left....that is right folks, it just gets bigger and more ridiculous from here.

Andy is doing well in his first week back full time at work. He is EXHAUSTED when he gets home...but making it through all the same. I am so proud of him. I know it would be easier to take some half days and sleep in the afternoons...but he really wants to get his energy level back up...and I dare say it is working. He was in the greatest mood yesterday. Laughing and joking, and poking fun of my "crazy" just like old times. (we were laying in bed and I said, would yo listen to is after 10 pm and there are birds chirping...he mutes the TV and says, I do not hear birds...TV back you do not hear those birds?...muted TV...him: nope (slight smile) TV back there they are, there are birds chirping Andy!...him: sideways glance: Cari...they are on the TV!, oh.)

It is such a pleasure to experience God in new ways through this journey he has placed the Captain and me in. When I was in high school planning my future, you know, big beautiful house, healthy kids...some sort of fame and money...very shallow, material, dreams. I NEVER would have pictured my life as it is now. Cute, modest home, a baby girl who awaits me in heaven, a husband that has been through brain surgery, pregnant and babysitting a 5 month old...this was not my plan. But it was Gods. Why? you ask? I do not know...nor do I care why. I am daily learning to be content with what I have been given, as well as what God has planned for me. Trying to learn from the little well as the big. I have seen God work in ways I never could have imagined.

When I was sitting in the hospital talking to a friend on the phone, informing her of Andy's surgery updates and things...thinking secretly to myself...can this really be happening? She told me she told a friend of our situation, who told a friend...who was able to share the gospel with another friend because of "our story"!!! It was just what I needed to hear. God using seemingly impossible situations for HIS GLORY! This is what I cling to on days when life seems cloudy, when my way seems undetermined...God is using this. My life is for His use...not mine. My "story" was written by Him....not me. He has the right to begin,edit, rewrite, twist, and end any chapter of my life He chooses... He is the author of life.

I just have to let Him...hmmm, easier said than done at times.

I know I have failed, but I also know God is bigger than my failures. He can use even those to reach other people. My prayer is that He is able to use me in obedience more than He will use my failures.

I was thinking yesterday how thankful I am that this life is so temporary. I pray everyday for His return. I cannot wait to live forever in a place where I am in the presence of God and have no more pain, tears, or fears. No matter if it is tomorrow, or in 60 + years...I will be with Caden again.

Lord may it be sooner than later, Come quickly.

Until then, the captain and I will try to glorify Christ with our life, teach our son to know and follow him...and enjoy as many golden Oreos as I can manage!


Just Me - The Champion said...

You are so wise. This is my favorite part of what you wrote.

"My life is for His use...not mine. My "story" was written by Him....not me. He has the right to begin,edit, rewrite, twist, and end any chapter of my life He chooses... He is the author of life."

So profound and such truth that speaks to my heart and my life.

I laughed at your cute bedtime story while he muted and you kept listening for the birds. You guys are funny :)

I am praying for you in your last seven weeks... I pray for your baby boy and I'm going to try Golden Oreos... I've never had them before! :) ha! -jen

Sarah (Frederick) Kim said...

Thanks for reminding us all that He is the author, not us. Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord." I also love the quote by Linda Dillow, "We say we want more faith, but what we really want is sight. If we can always see what God is doing, we won't need faith. Faith is walking in the dark with God, holding His hand."

Psalm112 said...

Continuing to pray...especially for His triumphant return!!!

LisaL said...

So when do we get a pic of those 43"??? Gotta love pics of pregnant mamas!!

Anonymous said...

I don't know you, I am not even sure how I came across your blog. I must say that I get anxious to see if you have posted and check your blog daily! You always seem to put a smile on my face and make me want to be a better person. Thank you :)