Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Still here

Oh, yes, I am still alive. No worries.

This is wedding week...the sis is getting hitched in 2 days! Lots to do, not so much time to do it know how it is.

I have been spending some time sorting and filing pictures on the computer. We lots more than I remembered. It has been fun and emotionally draining. Love seeing the pics of my kids, bit I hurt to now that pictures are the only way I can see Caden. Tears and smiles, separately and together, all mixed my thoughts and feelings. Happy, sad, laugh, cry, up, down. Sheesh!

I was chatting with a lady the other day. She was telling me how she had all of her kids together for dinner at a Steak N Shake...She has, not Steak N Shakes...anyhoo...her kids are scattered all over the globe, and she had them all together for dinner. She had tears in her eyes as she relayed the tale. So did I. Because the only thing I thought of was that I would never experience having all of my children together for dinner...never. Some families get this privilege every night. I will never have it, not once. So we stood in a crowded hall with tears in our eyes, me and this lady. I am sure she thought I was a lovely compassionate woman, as I was empathizing with her and her story...she didn't now about Caden. So many people don't...what a shame, she was worth knowing.

Know who else is worth knowing...the Riggster.

How was that for a super lame transition?

But he is. And I have been having some fun with him and my baby cousin.

Crakes me up! I really do laugh out loud at how stupid some of the expressions are! They are really going to be fun in a couple of months...and I will be super tired for chasing them around all day!

Rigg is such a chill baby. He hardly ever cries, and he is just starting to smile...once in a blue moon. I think he might be a serious little man, so I will cherish every smile I get, and hope it is in reaction to seeing me, and not just from gas...

Either way, smile or no, he is a good looin' kid.

Well, he is when his mama isn't laughing and taking pictures at his expense...


JASON said...

He is one super handsome boy! Keep the awesome pics coming!
Hope you enjoy your exciting weekend!


Just Me - The Champion said...

Rigg is totally cool. Aren't they funny when they cross their eyes and then refocus them? Josie is a grunter. Grunts when she has gas, grunts when she's bugged and grunts when she's trying to poop. I can hear your heart and pain on your thoughts on having your family together. I don't even know what to say to be completely honest. I am sad for you, the tears well up. I was just telling my Mom your story the other day and I was telling her how I think you see things so much more clearly than most. You understand that this life on earth is so much more temporary than we all can imagine. Life on earth is but a "blip." Someday there will be no more pain, no more tears and we do have that to look forward to... in God's timing and grace. In the meantime my friend, relish that beautiful boy...he will grow to be an awesome man of God just like you and your Captain! :) - jen

Krista said...

I'm with Jen, you seriously amaze me! I know it's a daily struggle being w/o Caden, but just think of the time she's having celebrating w/our precious Savior! Ah! I get chills! And one day you WILL be with her havin' a big 'ol party around a big 'ol table w/ALL of your family! So awesome! =)

I'm loving the pictures of Rigg! Such a handsome little guy! AH! Love it! And the 2nd & 3rd picture of he & your cousin crack me up! So fun! keep the pictures comin'! have a great weekend & time @ your sister's wedding!

Tiffany said...

I think Rigg is especially adorable WHEN you catch him with one of those "male" expressions. He is a doll. And, while I cannot imagine the daily pain you have learned to live with, I cannot wait to see you in heaven, celebrating with your entire family. You are a gift.

Heidi @ Indy Photography said...

Hey, I noticed that my blog link finally fixed itself (or maybe you fixed it). Either way....YAY!!

Joyce said...

Out of the blue at dinner tonight, Max said, "I love cake, btw, I had a cupcake today, cake is good, but the best cake is in Heaven!!! Grandpa Doyle is REALLY lucky because he is up there in Heaven eating the BEST cake!!!"

Me, "Yeah, we'll get to eat it too someday."

Max, "You probably will get to before I do."

Me, "You never know, some people die when they are very young. Like baby Caiden."

Max, "Yeah, she's probably up there eating that REALLY good cake."

Justin said...

Captain!!! sorry for yelling.