Thursday, September 22, 2011

Caden's 3rd Heaven Day



3 years.
Can it be three years already?  My heart says no...but my calendar says yes.
3 years.

3 years ago today we held our Caden for the last time... we kissed her soft, pudgy cheek, stroked her silky hair and held her tiny beautiful hand one final time, and said goodbye.

3 years.
It seems like yesterday.
It seems like a lifetime ago.

God has taught us much during this time.  He has held us close, brought us comfort and peace... shown us grace, mercy and compassion. He has proven His love and faithfulness over and over and over again.

But it still hurts. My heart still aches. My arms still feel empty with the loss of her.

Life is long without her.

And yet...even through the pain, even though we feel her gone with every breath, we choose to rejoice. We choose to praise God for all He has done because of her life...because of her death.
We choose to rejoice because we know where Caden is. We know her life has really just begun... and we know we will see her agin.

So on this, Caden's Heaven Day, rejoice with us. For Caden's life, her memory, but mostly for the Hope that she reminds us of.

The hope of Heaven.

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Below is a post I wrote a few months back for Life Rearranged.
I never posted it here... but I thought today was a great day to do so.

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She was, in one word, delightful. But I cannot just stop at one word. She was beautiful, and pleasant. Giggly, warm and soft. She was snuggly and squishy and… in my mind, perfect. She had this way of smiling that started in her eyes. Her eyes would sparkle and twinkle and you knew it was coming… that smile… she could win anyone over with that smile.

Caden was pure joy.


I miss her smile… her twinkly, sparkly eyes…so much.

Her brothers have her eyes.
It is wonderful.
It breaks my heart.

They are both younger then Caden… and forever older. She was our first. Our only girl. Sometimes I look around my life and see what might have been. The pink, the hair bows, the dresses…


It hurts to know some people will never know me as a mother to a daughter. They look and see blue, trucks and dirt and footballs, never to understand that the first time I became a mommy… it was to a soft, wonderful baby girl.

Her life forever changed me.

Her death forever changed me.

Although her death brought hurt, pain and struggles, it brought so much more. Caden’s death brought hope. The wisdom and knowledge in my God gained since then is irreplaceable. Even the pain has brought something that I do not think I could have obtained otherwise...perspective. A heavenly one. Hope for the future that wouldn't be quite as intense, faith as an every day companion like never before. The crows feet, brought on by the weight of this life may be more pronounced, but hopefully so is my reliance on the One who knows and understands the ache...

Although each day that dawns is one more day without her. It is also one more day closer to seeing her again.

The next time I see my Caden, we will never have to part.
 

1 Thessalonians 4:16-18
For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.
Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.
Therefore comfort one another with these words.


Caden's 2nd Heaven Day
Caden's 3rd Heaven Day

9 comments:

Sabo family said...

She is beautiful. Thinking of you and Andy and your famiies today.

Ma said...

Praying for you today.

and God shall wipe away every tear from their eyes, and the death shall not be any more, nor sorrow, nor crying, nor shall there be any more pain, because the first things did go away.'

(Rev 21)

Ken Young said...

Wow. Can't imagine the pain and overwhelming emotions that you must go through. I know this must be bittersweet knowing what you once had and where she is now. I'm glad that you know you will once again see her one day and never let go. Thanks for the teary eyes.

Jeannett said...

hugs and love to you today friend.
so sorry.
but with so much hope.
because little caden is hanging with two of my littles.
and they're giggling at their silly mams who are sad. because they know what we can't even begin to fathom:
heaven rocks.

Julie : ) said...

love you.

Anonymous said...

praying extra today for you, your family and your sweet caden. love the pic of her half under her blanket...precious.
i am so sorry...
:) linda

Anonymous said...

Well said babe.

-The Captain

Kate said...

Remembering your beautiful little girl today and keeping you and your family in my prayers.

Just Me - The Champion said...

Carie,
It's been a long time since I've been blogging or even on blogspot. I'm creating a new ministry blog however so I am back on this thing. I love reading your blog and have caught up. Rigg is so HUGE! And Ryder is a boy! I love reading your heart about Caden. She is still on my fridge... and for the record... I think of you as a "girl" Mommy. Also, knowing your story about Caden helps me understand God's love so much more AND I too... look forward to eternity that much more. No more pain, no more tears... praise God.

Keep writing! You guys are awesome! Jen Kline