Friday, October 23, 2009

Lost and Found

I do not suppose it was ever lost.

I mean I had it here all along.

Hidden is a better description.

Found is completely accurate, however.

I was fine until viewing it. Then I was drawn in by the power of the memory. I remember that day...I remember that outfit. I remember...
I watched over and over again. Remembering. Haunted by the voice. Oh, those eyes...that smile. I remember now. It was not lost, the memory of her. Just hidden in the dark spaces of my mind, tucked away for days like today. Getting covered with the dust and cobwebs of thoughts, memories and new lessons learned since then.
But I found it today...and I remembered.

It reminded me how much I miss her. How much it still hurts. How much I long to be a whole family...to see that smile when she sees her brother, to hear that squeal coming from the next room, to see that delight on her face when I come in the room...

Lost is not the right word. She is not lost. She is right where God wants her, right where she is supposed to be.
Hidden from view, hidden in our hearts.
In her I found great joy. In her death I have found new facets of God and His character.
When my days on this earth are through I will find her in heaven.

There is much to look forward to.

(remember to pause the music at the bottom to hear the video)

5 comments:

Julia said...

how sweet and beautiful. I can't pretend to know how you feel, so I won't. But my heart aches for you. As a mommy of 2, I can't imagine. I just can't imagine the sadness you feel. But as evident on your blog, Jesus is holding you close and walking you through every day. God bless you and your little boy Rigg and I can see Caden dancing with the angels!! :)

Penny said...

It breaks my heart and I don't even know you. She is beautiful and I'm so thankful you have videos and pictures to help keep her memory alive. Your writing is beautiful as usual, too.

Stacey said...

That was a great day! Such a blessing to me!

cristidehoff said...

oh, i cried. i wish i could hug you right now.
love you,
cj

libby @ ninesandquines said...

how wonderful and, at the same time, how heartbreaking, that you have video of her....to watch and remember exactly how she looked, sounded and loved....