Monday, October 13, 2008

2 things

Well we are back. Most of you probably know that Andy and I took a "getaway" to the Caribbean. Not your run of the mill getaway I'll admit, but a good one, should you wish to follow our lead. We took a 7 day southern Caribbean cruise. We went to Aruba, Curacao, St. Marten, St. Thomas, and Puerto Rico. It was lovely, and because the food was so spectacular, I am fatter now then when we left....ick! I took pics,( of the trip not, necessarily of my fatness) and will display them when I can remember to get the camera and the magic cord together in the same place as the computer and myself...until that day comes, you will have to wait.

As I was floating along the Caribbean sea, I realized 2 things...1, I still consider my life a good one, and I have a totally different outlook on my "good life"
Let me elaborate. A month ago, if someone off the street were to ask me if I had a good life, or was it very hard. I would have very honestly said, no, it has not been hard, it has been wonderful. I have blessing upon blessing God has granted me. A nice home, great friends, a better husband, and on top of that a beautiful baby girl. I was living in, as a friend put it, "in Disney world" everything was great, nothing to complain about. On my trip I realized I still feel the same way. I have all of those blessing still, albeit Caden is waiting on me in heaven as opposed to in the other room. Now these blessings have weight, they hold substance. I knew I had good friends, but God has blessed me with people who go ABCD (above and beyond the call of duty) to show how much they love me and my family, all in the name of Christ. I knew I had a good man, but have you seen the man I have? Oh how Great is our God to provide Andy for me. I could not get through this without him. And my baby girl...oh what a blessing she is. God is so good to us. He intrusted us with her life, and through her life and her death she has touched many, and our prayer is that her brief life would impact others for our Savior. There are so many things God has been merciful enough to let me see these past weeks that show why her.
even though we hurt, even though this is no longer "Disney world" God has given me a great life, and with His help I can use it for His glory.

Second my perspective has changed. (How could it not?;) We all know that when you become a believer in Christ that you are supposed to have a heavenly perspective. I always thought "OK, yeah, I want to go to heaven. It sounds like a great place, but not until I get to do....." you can fill in the blank. I did, many a time. At first it was not until I get married, then not until after I have a baby...when would it have ever been enough. It is now. Matthew 6:21 says For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.
Caden was my treasure, and She is in Heaven. If she is there, where else could my heart be? My heart is in Heaven, and now my soul cries out to be there as well. I do not think any other thing could have given me this same longing for my eternal home, as the death of my daughter. God is so good to provide for me in such a way. I will always miss Caden, always, but I know I will see her again. I truly cannot wait for that day.
Even so, Lord, come quickly.


Justin said...

God is glorified in the fact that in all of your dealings with this difficult situation, you keep pointing back to him. You keep falling on and klinging to him. In your postings the Lord has woven through you a beautiful tapestry of Godly truth and Godly beauty. I really love you guys. I am honored to call you family of God. My heart is with you and our fingers are interlaced with his. May God continue to lift you up and rain his grace and love down upon you.

Lindsey said...

What a wonderful, heartfelt post, Cari! Beautifully written. Caden is going to have a long line of people waiting to see her again!:) We are praying for you daily. Thanks for sharing a piece of your heart with us.

Extraordinary Ordinary Life said...

Your faith is truly amazing. I can definitely see how heaven is made even sweeter with the thought of seeing your precious baby girl again. Caden really did touch so many lives. My faith has been strengthened through this as well. Watching you and Andy go through this and the way that you have handled it really was incredible. Thank you for your Godly example.

Heidi Stone said...

Your post brought me to tears...again.

Thank you for your honestly and openness, Cari. God is truly working a miracle in your life.

Julie said...

so "ABCD" tells me that you had Mr. Hoskins as a world history teacher too....