Wednesday, April 4, 2012

It's all Ryder's fault

I really wish I didn't feel the need to apologize or explain why my posts are so few and far between...
But they are...
and I do.

Today I will blame my lack of posting, which really is a lack of free time, on Ryder.

That's right... Ryder.
This precious boy.

He is oh-so cute...and he has very recently become quite a handful.

I am not sure what is really going on... I know he is breaking in like 7 teeth, and he was sick awhile back...but he has started waking at VERY early hours, is almost constantly whining or all out screaming if not held,. and to make matters (as if not already bad enough) worse... only sleeping about an hour a day.

And it is wearing me out... Physically, I am super tired, a mess, and probably very strong due to the fact I have been carrying a 30 lb child around everywhere I go.
Mentally, I am spent.

When he does spring back into "regular Ryder" mode... he is now climbing on the chairs and up on the table, diving onto the couch from the ottoman and playing in the toilet.
And as happy as I am to not be holding him... it still doesn't seem like much of an upside.

I have been praying for more sleep... or at least some wisdom on how to tackle this phase...
2 nights ago, or I should say mornings..because it was around 5 am and I had just put Ryder back down, I finally asked God what I was supposed to be learning. I have been thinking on it and have come up with a few things. Since then, when I changed the focus of my prayers from what I wanted God to do to what God wanted from me... things have been slowly improving.  I do not know if it is really getting better, or if I have just become less stressed and panicked about how haggard my life seemed. Maybe it is just an acceptance and a peace that comes only from Him. Either way, I am thankful.
For Ryder.
For all the EXTRA cuddle time.
For God continuing to teach me and His patience in my overwhelming weakness.
For the extra sleep I got last night when Ryder slept longer then he has in 3 weeks. (!!!!)

He is learning so much. I realized the other day he really can say a few words...and it is adorable. And he and Rigg are starting to play together.
It makes me realize how big he is getting... and how fast it is happening...
and how one day he won't want to hug me in public or sit next to me on the couch and cuddle...
So right now I will try to remember to cherish all the hugs and cuddles and tears I get to kiss away, because time is fleeting,
and one day I will want what today seems taxing.

Father, give me perspective.

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