Wednesday, January 13, 2010

the straw

As I sit here crying I am reminded that God is good.

God is good.

God is good.

I say this because right now I am feeling overwhelmed, anxious, angry and sad. (I think maybe a bit insane too from feeling all of these emotions at once.)

For the past couple of days I have had this icky unsettled, discontent, anxious feeling. I am not sure what it is from. The past week or so has had it's ups and most weeks at our house...or anyone’s house, for that matter. I have been trying to focus on God and His never changing character...because, even though I feel icky...God is the same God as when I feel happy or content. My emotions are not as important as truth...and God, who never changes is truth.

What ever has me mad and upset is fleeting...although, I do wish it would fleet a bit faster then it is. Today was just the straw that broke the proverbial camels back. At one point this morning I sat and burst into hot angry tears. I told God just how I felt in no uncertain terms. I am sure he listened. I am also sure I sounded a bit like a grouchy 3 year old. As I sat there angry and now a hot mess to boot, I thought...."I need a friend." So I called one.

She was just what I needed. Good for a chuckle, a listen and a good verse.

Psalm 94:19
When my anxious thoughts multiply within me,
Your consolations delight my soul.

She said we have to do nothing for our anxious thoughts to multiply within us...but when we focus on Christ and the consolations He gives...our soul will be delighted.

I shall, indeed, try to change my focus to His consolations. For it is not my situation that needs fixing (which I can do nothing about anyway) but my attitude and focus.


Lindsey said...

You've been on my mind a lot today, and after reading your post, perhaps I see why. I've been praying for you throughout the morning and will continue to often.

Rebekah said...

God is good- but that doesn't mean life isn't hard and overwhelming sometimes too. I'll be thinking and praying for you!