Sorry all, I had no computer at the hospital today...so you had to wait awhile for the update.
Your waiting has paid off...it is good news.
I was awakened at 2 am this morning to a phone call from my sister-in-law who was staying with Andy last night. Andy was heading down for an emergency CT scan. (remember...I have good news) This was because the nurse called Andy's Dr. and said he was not moving his right side as well as he had been previously. The Doc ordered the scan. 25 min later Elizabeth called again...the scan was fine. 15 min. later she called again...well they might have seen some blood, but it could just be seepage (such a gross word) from the surgical site...nothing to worry about. The Dr. will see him in the morning. I asked if Andy wanted me to come in...he said no. I tried to sleep...I got up a little after 5 and was at the hospital a little after 6. I got home 10 min ago.
OK, back to Andy. He has minimal pain, although his shoulder hurts...we, meaning the medical staff and his Dr., have no idea why, but they are watching it. He sat up and ate his breakfast WITH HIS RIGHT HAND (praise GOD!). Is he eating well? you ask. Well for breakfast he had a cheese omelet, 2 buttermilk pancakes, home fries and a fruit cup. Plus 2 cups of coffee and 2 glasses of juice....I think he is eating just fine.
He walked laps around the nurses station today as well as got up and sat in a chair for some time. He took 2 really good naps and says he feels really good, for having someone root around in his brain.
We saw the Doc today. We really like him. He said he didn't expect Andy's limited ability to talk and use of his right side, but he is not alarmed by it. He gave some very long technical jargon which ended in syndrome, and said many brain surgery patients get it. Andy will heal completely, it just might take up to 2-3 weeks. He said he was sure Andy would have perfect speech by the time he took the staples out. 10 -14 days after surgery. (yet, he is a man, and not God, so we will be patient and see.) The important thing to remember is Andy is speaking...even if he is frustrated and it is limited, and he is moving his right side...even though it is difficult. Both functions are improving each day. Andy said 10-12 SENTENCES today (in response to the nurse offering scrub pants, Andy said "my wife has basketball shorts in the car for me."), plus 1-2 word answers. I have asked him to use yes and no instead of shaking his head and he is using his right arm on his own without being asked. The Dr. said he is going to have to work, sometimes hard, to help the brain get back on track.
PRAISE GOD for all the good news.
Thank you for your continued prayer. Please keep it up. Pray for Andy's frustration level, that his motor and speech skills would continue to improve. That I would not annoy the heck out of him trying to get info out of him. For all of our rest. For what it will look like when we come home. And anything else you can think of.
Thank you for all of your comments. I have read them all. They are so encouraging. To all who have gone through this before...I praise God for you and thank Him for your words of encouragement and wisdom.
I told Andy this morning, one day we will be the ones who visit someone else in a sticky spot...when we do, we will remind them of all the things you all are reminding us. I thank God for you and your prayers...we could not get through this with out the love of family, friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, prayers and most importantly our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
He is Risen!
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Another long day
I am home, and once again wishing I could stay with him. I know he wishes I could stay too. I could see it in his eyes. Yet, we both know I should be home to sleep so I can get rest for me and Rigg.
There is lots of good news...all of which you know by now. He is awake, although, he gets sleepy very easily. He has eaten. He can speak and use his right side. Praise God for all the answered prayers.
Yet, I am a bit down tonight. Maybe it is all the weight of the past few days catching up to me, or maybe it is Satan...maybe both.
I just wish Andy would be better instantly. It is hard to watch him struggle and be frustrated. It takes so much effort to move his arm and hand. It takes just as much to speak. He informed me it is hard to answer the complicated questions because it is hard to string all the words together and get them out. It is hard not to be a little disappointed. I know I should be elated by all the progress and good news...but I want my Andy. You are officially witnessing a weak moment here folks...exhaustion probably plays a roll.
I know I need to be patient. I have to verbally tell myself to trust in the Lord. Wait on the Lord. His timing is better than mine. God is working.
But what about NOW? Can he do all that right NOW?
yes He can, but He will do whatever He wills to do.
I know, but I don't like it.
I know too the Dr. has said it can take a few days...maybe weeks. Who knows what is really going on inside Andy's body and brain.
God does.
You see I am trying to encourage myself and I get to going round in circles....I am already tired without being dizzy too.
Tomorrow is Easter. While you worship and praise God for His son and the work He did on the cross, please remember us. And as far as our side of the deal, we will remember Christ and how truly blessed we are to be called children of God. This life and it's trials are temporary, but His Kingdom and Word last forever...I am thankful to be a part of the eternal Kingdom of Christ.
Pray for Andy's recovery. Especially his frustration level. I suppose you can add me to your prayer list and pray for my stress level and patience as well as trust in Him who makes all things new.
Lord, change my heart to be like yours. Please, come quickly.
p.s. Anyone who would like to post about my family, post a link to my blog or ask for prayer on my behalf need not ask...it is a favor to me if you do.
There is lots of good news...all of which you know by now. He is awake, although, he gets sleepy very easily. He has eaten. He can speak and use his right side. Praise God for all the answered prayers.
Yet, I am a bit down tonight. Maybe it is all the weight of the past few days catching up to me, or maybe it is Satan...maybe both.
I just wish Andy would be better instantly. It is hard to watch him struggle and be frustrated. It takes so much effort to move his arm and hand. It takes just as much to speak. He informed me it is hard to answer the complicated questions because it is hard to string all the words together and get them out. It is hard not to be a little disappointed. I know I should be elated by all the progress and good news...but I want my Andy. You are officially witnessing a weak moment here folks...exhaustion probably plays a roll.
I know I need to be patient. I have to verbally tell myself to trust in the Lord. Wait on the Lord. His timing is better than mine. God is working.
But what about NOW? Can he do all that right NOW?
yes He can, but He will do whatever He wills to do.
I know, but I don't like it.
I know too the Dr. has said it can take a few days...maybe weeks. Who knows what is really going on inside Andy's body and brain.
God does.
You see I am trying to encourage myself and I get to going round in circles....I am already tired without being dizzy too.
Tomorrow is Easter. While you worship and praise God for His son and the work He did on the cross, please remember us. And as far as our side of the deal, we will remember Christ and how truly blessed we are to be called children of God. This life and it's trials are temporary, but His Kingdom and Word last forever...I am thankful to be a part of the eternal Kingdom of Christ.
Pray for Andy's recovery. Especially his frustration level. I suppose you can add me to your prayer list and pray for my stress level and patience as well as trust in Him who makes all things new.
Lord, change my heart to be like yours. Please, come quickly.
p.s. Anyone who would like to post about my family, post a link to my blog or ask for prayer on my behalf need not ask...it is a favor to me if you do.
He is sitting up!!!!
well, not right now, but he was earlier, until he fell asleep mid sentence and they put him back in bed. But for at least 45 min he was wide awake and sitting up. He is moving his right leg and right arm on his own without being forced to, although you can tell it causes him much strain and frustration. This is a vast improvement from even this morning. The Dr. said it could take days for his motor skills in his right side to catch up and not to panic...so I shared this info with him earlier today...he was still frustrated. He fed himself ice cream, with his right hand, and ate and drank a few things, then he started to fall asleep...this is what he is doing now...sleeping. His heart rate is still slightly elevated, and we are still in the ICU. He is speaking more on his own. He says his throat hurts and this is why he is not talking. When he really wants something, or is being tested he speaks fine.
I am doing well. Seeing him improve slowly today has me in good spirits and gives me hope for tomorrow. I think we might be here til Monday but we will not know for certain until later.
Andy's MRI results have not come back yet,or is they have I have not heard about them. The nurse says this is good news, if there was a complication then they would have called immediately. So keep praying.
Can I just tell ya folks that prayers have been answered. Specific prayers answered in the manner in the way we asked.
Andy is out of surgery and awake.The navigating system worked perfectly during surgery.
The Dr. thinks he got all of the tumor.
Andy is less groggy and coming out of the meds.
He is moving his right side better with each check.
He is speaking on his own, not just when forced to.
As well as others I cannot think of right now.
I look at that list and get so encouraged and just want to praise God for all His blessings these past days/hours.
Let us continue to worship the Healer and petition for Andy in these next few days. I will keep updating with praises and specific prayer requests so we can keep seeing the Lord work.
I am doing well. Seeing him improve slowly today has me in good spirits and gives me hope for tomorrow. I think we might be here til Monday but we will not know for certain until later.
Andy's MRI results have not come back yet,or is they have I have not heard about them. The nurse says this is good news, if there was a complication then they would have called immediately. So keep praying.
Can I just tell ya folks that prayers have been answered. Specific prayers answered in the manner in the way we asked.
Andy is out of surgery and awake.The navigating system worked perfectly during surgery.
The Dr. thinks he got all of the tumor.
Andy is less groggy and coming out of the meds.
He is moving his right side better with each check.
He is speaking on his own, not just when forced to.
As well as others I cannot think of right now.
I look at that list and get so encouraged and just want to praise God for all His blessings these past days/hours.
Let us continue to worship the Healer and petition for Andy in these next few days. I will keep updating with praises and specific prayer requests so we can keep seeing the Lord work.
A New Day
Andy is doing better today. I came in about 8. (showered and well rested. I think I got about 7 hours.) He was more awake than when I left last night. He is still VERY tired and groggy, but able to keep his eyes open if he needs to.The Dr. came in this morning. He took Andy's bandage off and looked at the incision. He ran a few nuero tests. Andy can now raise both hands in the air, flip palms up and down. hold up fingers on his right hand (like when asked to give 2 fingers) and wiggle his toes and kick his leg on his right side. It is still much weaker than his left side but it is improving gradually. He said morning, I love you and yes to me this morning when I came in and we were talking. His throat hurts, this is why he is refraining from talking, but he can talk. He said the sentence "no if's, and's or but's." for the Dr. this morning and the Dr. said if he can say that..then he can say anything.His heartbeat is a little high...nothing to be alarmed about, but still higher than normal. They had him pumped full of steroids, so the Dr. thinks his body is compensating....they are going to lower the dose and see. If it stays under 100 for over an hour, they may move him out of ICU later today. He just left for an MRI a few min ago.Prayer for the heartrate, and his groggyness would be specifics this morning. As well as a gradual recovery and no complications or backsliding. Pray the MRI shows only good news.
Thank you for the prayers of rest for me last night. I slept well. I still woke every few hours, and when I did the song Mighty to Save was running through my head. He is mighty to save...it was a good reminder in the groggyness of sleep. As well as a verse about trusting in the Lord....so I sang and quoted scripture when I was not sleeping....
I will try to keep you as updated as possible throughout today, Please continue to pray. We are "out of the woods" as they say, but we still have "miles to go before we sleep."
Thank you for the prayers of rest for me last night. I slept well. I still woke every few hours, and when I did the song Mighty to Save was running through my head. He is mighty to save...it was a good reminder in the groggyness of sleep. As well as a verse about trusting in the Lord....so I sang and quoted scripture when I was not sleeping....
I will try to keep you as updated as possible throughout today, Please continue to pray. We are "out of the woods" as they say, but we still have "miles to go before we sleep."
Friday, April 10, 2009
Before I fall over from exhaustion
I am tired...TIRED.
I am home, just got here and feel very guilty I am not at Andy's bedside. I know there is nothing I can do but stare at him...like that is doing any good...and I need my rest. if not for me, for Rigg. So here I am. This has been the hardest part of the day...trusting God to take care of him overnight while I am away.
Easier said than done.
Wait on the Lord...Trust.
I am trying. But I had to force myself.
It was very hard to see Andy after his surgery. He is still not shaken the "knock-out" meds. He is very groggy and when we saw him earlier he was not moving the right side of his body or talking. Since then they have given him a CT scan (came back great) and his Dr. came back to check him.
He passed with flying colors...well, sorts. He griped with his right hand, held u 2 fingers with is right hand and wiggled his right toes. He also raised his right leg and whispered his name.
It is so hard to see such a big guy, a strong guy, my superman...so weak and incoherent. I sat in his room and cried for awhile. I think it was the relief as well as the reality of it all setting in. We have hit the ground running and been living warp speed since Tuesday morning. This was the first time I have to process everything that is going on.
I want to walk into his room and have him sit up and chat with me...and it takes a lot of effort to even get him to open his eyes.
Patience.
Wait.
Trust.
NOT EASY!!!!
Please continue to pray...by the way, INCREDIBLY overwhelmed by the number of comments and people praying. We are so blessed....but now that I have your attention....let us continue to petition the Lord on High with requests. Let's be specific and use scripture...what God has already said, we can count as done.
Specifically you can pray that Andy's recovery would continue to progress. That he would shake the "knock-out" meds and wake up. That he would continue to gain strength in his right side and would start to speak.
That all throughout he night God would cradle Andy and watch over him.
That I would be calm and peaceful and be able to sleep, for me and the baby.
Thank you so much brothers and sisters in Christ...one day I will get to thank you face to face. But until that day, let us join together as one body and worship the Lord.
I am home, just got here and feel very guilty I am not at Andy's bedside. I know there is nothing I can do but stare at him...like that is doing any good...and I need my rest. if not for me, for Rigg. So here I am. This has been the hardest part of the day...trusting God to take care of him overnight while I am away.
Easier said than done.
Wait on the Lord...Trust.
I am trying. But I had to force myself.
It was very hard to see Andy after his surgery. He is still not shaken the "knock-out" meds. He is very groggy and when we saw him earlier he was not moving the right side of his body or talking. Since then they have given him a CT scan (came back great) and his Dr. came back to check him.
He passed with flying colors...well, sorts. He griped with his right hand, held u 2 fingers with is right hand and wiggled his right toes. He also raised his right leg and whispered his name.
It is so hard to see such a big guy, a strong guy, my superman...so weak and incoherent. I sat in his room and cried for awhile. I think it was the relief as well as the reality of it all setting in. We have hit the ground running and been living warp speed since Tuesday morning. This was the first time I have to process everything that is going on.
I want to walk into his room and have him sit up and chat with me...and it takes a lot of effort to even get him to open his eyes.
Patience.
Wait.
Trust.
NOT EASY!!!!
Please continue to pray...by the way, INCREDIBLY overwhelmed by the number of comments and people praying. We are so blessed....but now that I have your attention....let us continue to petition the Lord on High with requests. Let's be specific and use scripture...what God has already said, we can count as done.
Specifically you can pray that Andy's recovery would continue to progress. That he would shake the "knock-out" meds and wake up. That he would continue to gain strength in his right side and would start to speak.
That all throughout he night God would cradle Andy and watch over him.
That I would be calm and peaceful and be able to sleep, for me and the baby.
Thank you so much brothers and sisters in Christ...one day I will get to thank you face to face. But until that day, let us join together as one body and worship the Lord.
Update On Andy
Andy is out of surgery and doing well. The Dr. said the navigation system worked perfectly and they were able to remove all of the tumor. (they think) The Dr. said he would call it a gross total resection. He sent samples to IU and we should know more in a couple weeks. Andy will get his staples out in 10 -14 days as well as have a head CT in the morning an an MRI within 24 hours.
He is waking up. His left side is moving fine but his right side is a little weak. The Dr. said not to worry or panic, sometimes just working in that area stuns the brain and it will take awhile for it to catch up....maybe a couple of days. So please pray that the right side of Andy's body catches up in movement and strength so no therapy would be necessary. As well as his speech would be fine...he understands everything the Dr. is saying but is not talking himself...pray for that too.
I have not been able to see him yet, but hopefully will be able to in an hour or so. He is being preped to be moved to ICU.
More later.
He is waking up. His left side is moving fine but his right side is a little weak. The Dr. said not to worry or panic, sometimes just working in that area stuns the brain and it will take awhile for it to catch up....maybe a couple of days. So please pray that the right side of Andy's body catches up in movement and strength so no therapy would be necessary. As well as his speech would be fine...he understands everything the Dr. is saying but is not talking himself...pray for that too.
I have not been able to see him yet, but hopefully will be able to in an hour or so. He is being preped to be moved to ICU.
More later.
Andy's surgery update
Alright internet...here is the scoop.
Andy and I woke up this morning about 5. He slept very well, I know because I watched him. Do not worry, I will sleep later.
He is doing well, just a little nervous. I could tell because he was chattier than normal. They took him for his MRI about 7. He asked for some sedation(because he hates the MRI) they said it was too late...it would not start to work until he as almost done. So, he sucked it up became very brave and went in with no sedation. They did give him some cool goggles to wear and watch some ESPN. He said that makes it tolerable.
He was in good spirits, quite calm, which I chalk up to so much prayer. Last night we had a prayer meeting at church. About 70 -80 people showed up for over and hour of prayer specifically for Andy and they surgery today....It was so encouraging.
So they finally took him away for surgery about 9:15 or 9:30ish. They say about 3 hours or so.
Please continue to pray. For specifics scroll down to my previous post and read them there. Today will be long, but I will try to update as much as possible.
later gators.
Andy and I woke up this morning about 5. He slept very well, I know because I watched him. Do not worry, I will sleep later.
He is doing well, just a little nervous. I could tell because he was chattier than normal. They took him for his MRI about 7. He asked for some sedation(because he hates the MRI) they said it was too late...it would not start to work until he as almost done. So, he sucked it up became very brave and went in with no sedation. They did give him some cool goggles to wear and watch some ESPN. He said that makes it tolerable.
He was in good spirits, quite calm, which I chalk up to so much prayer. Last night we had a prayer meeting at church. About 70 -80 people showed up for over and hour of prayer specifically for Andy and they surgery today....It was so encouraging.
So they finally took him away for surgery about 9:15 or 9:30ish. They say about 3 hours or so.
Please continue to pray. For specifics scroll down to my previous post and read them there. Today will be long, but I will try to update as much as possible.
later gators.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Info and prayer
OK folks.
News, not hot off the presses, but off of them just the same.
If you already know this, just skim and pray and leave a comment if you wanna.
Andy has a brain tumor located of the left side toward the frontal lobe.
He is going to have brain surgery Friday.
An MRI is scheduled for 6 am with surgery following at 9 am.
After surgery he will be in ICU for at least 24 hours.
If all goes well in ICU he will then be transferred to a normal room for another 24 hours.
If he is responding normally and doing well, he will be sent home.
Check ups in a week or 2. Then routine follow-up appointments at intervals of 3 months to 6 months.
Andy is not able to drive for the next few months (we have heard everything for 3 mo. to a year)
He will be on anti-seizure meds for 9 mo to forever...
Specific prayer requests are:
Since the tumor looks like brain matter...that they are able to get all of the tumor and none of his brain.
That they miss any close sections of brain ( a motor strip that controls the right side of his body as well as a section that controls speech.)
The Dr.'s would be well rested and alert.
The equipment would be working well ( most of the surgery depends on a computer)
The recovery would be excellent so we could go home soon. (Andy hates the hospital and says "it makes me feel like a caged rat to be here.")
There would be no need for physical therapy of any kind when we are done.
Peace of mind for me and my family(s)
If you have verses that you are applying to any of these requests I wold love to know what they are.
Thank you all for your prayers and requests to help. I love you. I am so very blessed. I am in need of nothing, but if I am I PROMISE to call one of the 12,957 people who asked to help.
more later.
News, not hot off the presses, but off of them just the same.
If you already know this, just skim and pray and leave a comment if you wanna.
Andy has a brain tumor located of the left side toward the frontal lobe.
He is going to have brain surgery Friday.
An MRI is scheduled for 6 am with surgery following at 9 am.
After surgery he will be in ICU for at least 24 hours.
If all goes well in ICU he will then be transferred to a normal room for another 24 hours.
If he is responding normally and doing well, he will be sent home.
Check ups in a week or 2. Then routine follow-up appointments at intervals of 3 months to 6 months.
Andy is not able to drive for the next few months (we have heard everything for 3 mo. to a year)
He will be on anti-seizure meds for 9 mo to forever...
Specific prayer requests are:
Since the tumor looks like brain matter...that they are able to get all of the tumor and none of his brain.
That they miss any close sections of brain ( a motor strip that controls the right side of his body as well as a section that controls speech.)
The Dr.'s would be well rested and alert.
The equipment would be working well ( most of the surgery depends on a computer)
The recovery would be excellent so we could go home soon. (Andy hates the hospital and says "it makes me feel like a caged rat to be here.")
There would be no need for physical therapy of any kind when we are done.
Peace of mind for me and my family(s)
If you have verses that you are applying to any of these requests I wold love to know what they are.
Thank you all for your prayers and requests to help. I love you. I am so very blessed. I am in need of nothing, but if I am I PROMISE to call one of the 12,957 people who asked to help.
more later.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The tumor
OK, so it was bad news. A brain tumor...
Shall I start at the beginning?
I woke this morning to an earthquake....well, OK, so it wasn't an earthquake, it only felt like one. My husband is a big guy. So I guess it goes to prove if a big guy goes into a seizure he will shake the wahozits (it's a word...to me!) out of the bed. And that is just what happened. Andy was seizing and it was so intense it woke me up. I dove over him, stuck my fingers in his mouth to make sure he was not trying to swallow his tongue ( I have already been informed by a nurse not to stick my fingers in a seizing persons mouth again) when he clamped down hard on them. When I finally got my fingers out of his mouth I called 911.
EMT's and other important medical people arrived in time to help me gain composure and we loaded him up and to the hospital we went. It was a scary few min. Caden never came out of her seizure, so when Andy finally replied to my screams and prodding, I almost collapsed in relief. It took him a full half an hour to fully become the Andy we all know and love. By this time we were firmly planted in the ER...this was 6 am.
They took some blood, scheduled an MRI and whisked him away to the metal tube of doom...(he is very claustrophobic) I went out to the waiting room with all who awaited there. When he was finished with the testing, they admitted him and sent him to a private room for the remainder of his stay.
About lunch time is when we got the news. The MRI showed a very large mass at the front left part of his brain. The neurosurgeon will see us around 5.
We waited until 5...with some friends and family and all the calls to those not able to be there.
Dr. S. came in and told us the best news that can follow the worst news. A brain tumor that is (highly) probably not malignant in a very operable position. Surgery and some meds and we could have a great outcome.
Most people who get these types of tumors have one surgery and that is that...life as normal. The one tricky thing is that this type of tumor looks just like brain matter....so although the position of the tumor is good and the Dr is great...there is a risk of not getting it all. If they do not get it all, it could grow back and potentially become malignant.
PLEASE PRAY. I think we might have a couple of days at home before the surgery which is temp. scheduled for Friday. We will know a def. time and date tomorrow.
Pray that they are able to get all of the tumor.
That it is a quick and routine surgery.
For Andy' peace of mind...he hates MRI's and he has to get another one.
Pray for the Dr.'s and nurses.
For my family, peace, comfort and acceptance of Gods will.
I am sorry for the brisk and impersonal feel of this post...I wanted to get the info out...but the day has been long and I am tired. I feel like one of those people who try to balance on the logs rolling them down the river...very off kilter.
Mentally we are doing well. Andy is such an example of a Godly man...I have the most wonderful husband.
I will keep you all posted as best I can.
Pray
Pray
Pray
Lord come quickly
Shall I start at the beginning?
I woke this morning to an earthquake....well, OK, so it wasn't an earthquake, it only felt like one. My husband is a big guy. So I guess it goes to prove if a big guy goes into a seizure he will shake the wahozits (it's a word...to me!) out of the bed. And that is just what happened. Andy was seizing and it was so intense it woke me up. I dove over him, stuck my fingers in his mouth to make sure he was not trying to swallow his tongue ( I have already been informed by a nurse not to stick my fingers in a seizing persons mouth again) when he clamped down hard on them. When I finally got my fingers out of his mouth I called 911.
EMT's and other important medical people arrived in time to help me gain composure and we loaded him up and to the hospital we went. It was a scary few min. Caden never came out of her seizure, so when Andy finally replied to my screams and prodding, I almost collapsed in relief. It took him a full half an hour to fully become the Andy we all know and love. By this time we were firmly planted in the ER...this was 6 am.
They took some blood, scheduled an MRI and whisked him away to the metal tube of doom...(he is very claustrophobic) I went out to the waiting room with all who awaited there. When he was finished with the testing, they admitted him and sent him to a private room for the remainder of his stay.
About lunch time is when we got the news. The MRI showed a very large mass at the front left part of his brain. The neurosurgeon will see us around 5.
We waited until 5...with some friends and family and all the calls to those not able to be there.
Dr. S. came in and told us the best news that can follow the worst news. A brain tumor that is (highly) probably not malignant in a very operable position. Surgery and some meds and we could have a great outcome.
Most people who get these types of tumors have one surgery and that is that...life as normal. The one tricky thing is that this type of tumor looks just like brain matter....so although the position of the tumor is good and the Dr is great...there is a risk of not getting it all. If they do not get it all, it could grow back and potentially become malignant.
PLEASE PRAY. I think we might have a couple of days at home before the surgery which is temp. scheduled for Friday. We will know a def. time and date tomorrow.
Pray that they are able to get all of the tumor.
That it is a quick and routine surgery.
For Andy' peace of mind...he hates MRI's and he has to get another one.
Pray for the Dr.'s and nurses.
For my family, peace, comfort and acceptance of Gods will.
I am sorry for the brisk and impersonal feel of this post...I wanted to get the info out...but the day has been long and I am tired. I feel like one of those people who try to balance on the logs rolling them down the river...very off kilter.
Mentally we are doing well. Andy is such an example of a Godly man...I have the most wonderful husband.
I will keep you all posted as best I can.
Pray
Pray
Pray
Lord come quickly
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
In which I sit on the cold hardwood floor and cry like a hormonal pregnant lady
There is quite a bit going on in the Chastain household at the moment. Some of it is small projects that need to get done before Rigg graces us with his presence. Some of it is emotional turmoil and some of it is new everyday tasks.
Please tell us more, you say...well OK. I am nice like that.
Emotional turmoil...well that is an ever-changing yet always the same daily mix of missing Caden and looking forward to Rigg. And everything that falls in between.
New everydays tasks...I am currently watching my baby cousin (who is sweet as can be, and an angel most of the time) 5 days a week. My sister is recently engaged and Mom and I are helping her with the wedding. And I am starting to do housework regularly again (a huge relief to my wonderful husband, who only asked me a few times what I do with my time all day :)) The housework thing was a huge hurtle after Caden died. I can't explain exactly why, there are a lot of reasons, but it was SO hard.
I have an ever growing list of small projects.
I have pillows to make for Riggs room (big floor ones)
I need to purchase the fabric for said pillows...then sew them up.
I have to go buy fabric for a crib skirt...tailored white crib skirts do not exist in Indy outside of pottery barn kids for $50!!! Seriously!
I have a little black table to sand down and paint.
The hallway needs another paint treatment, and a dandelion (really a big cool white vinyl dandelion!)
I have a nursery that needs painted.
Before I can paint the nursery, I have to move the armoire (I am spelling this wrong) out (7 feet by 4 feet by 2 feet)
I have to buy wood to make 2 more shelves for the armoire
I have to purchase new shelves for the inside of the master bedroom closet because...
We need to move all kinds of stuff (clothes!!!) around to make more room for all of our existing stuff. (we officially have too much stuff for a house built in 1941, which was meant for a more simple time in which people didn't own the amount of junk that we now possess.)
So to make this all work, we were going to move the armoire into our bedroom (it is bigger than our dresser) and move our dresser to the basement and store out-of-season clothes in it.
Richard, in all his helpfulness, came up to help Andy move the monster piece of furniture...really folks, it is like 300 pounds or something. EMPTY!
Anyway, long story short....our house is too small and the blasted piece of furniture too big to turn a corner in my hallway...So it cannot go in the bedroom. It is now residing in the exact spot it has been residing for the past year and a half...Just where I do not want it.
This was going to be the start of all the moving, the shifting, the start of getting things in order for the new baby. Of getting the massive heap of Rigg stuff I have out of my office (remember the picture?)
And it didn't work.
Bye Richard...thanks for the help. No Andy, I know, it is OK...Not your fault. It will be fine, I will figure out where I want it...
And then what do I do?
I sit down in the middle of my hallway, on the cold hardwood floor and cry...just like the emotional, hormonal pregnant lady I am.
I do not usually cry over stupid stuff....and this was stupid. STUPID!
Andy came over and sat with me on the cold hardwood floor in the middle of the hallway.
What's wrong?
nothing...everything...nothing...stupid,blasted armoire.
You miss Caden?
yes
Hugging and crying in the hallway. On the floor.
Andy "let's go get Ice cream."
Me "Stupid, blasted armoire."
Please tell us more, you say...well OK. I am nice like that.
Emotional turmoil...well that is an ever-changing yet always the same daily mix of missing Caden and looking forward to Rigg. And everything that falls in between.
New everydays tasks...I am currently watching my baby cousin (who is sweet as can be, and an angel most of the time) 5 days a week. My sister is recently engaged and Mom and I are helping her with the wedding. And I am starting to do housework regularly again (a huge relief to my wonderful husband, who only asked me a few times what I do with my time all day :)) The housework thing was a huge hurtle after Caden died. I can't explain exactly why, there are a lot of reasons, but it was SO hard.
I have an ever growing list of small projects.
I have pillows to make for Riggs room (big floor ones)
I need to purchase the fabric for said pillows...then sew them up.
I have to go buy fabric for a crib skirt...tailored white crib skirts do not exist in Indy outside of pottery barn kids for $50!!! Seriously!
I have a little black table to sand down and paint.
The hallway needs another paint treatment, and a dandelion (really a big cool white vinyl dandelion!)
I have a nursery that needs painted.
Before I can paint the nursery, I have to move the armoire (I am spelling this wrong) out (7 feet by 4 feet by 2 feet)
I have to buy wood to make 2 more shelves for the armoire
I have to purchase new shelves for the inside of the master bedroom closet because...
We need to move all kinds of stuff (clothes!!!) around to make more room for all of our existing stuff. (we officially have too much stuff for a house built in 1941, which was meant for a more simple time in which people didn't own the amount of junk that we now possess.)
So to make this all work, we were going to move the armoire into our bedroom (it is bigger than our dresser) and move our dresser to the basement and store out-of-season clothes in it.
Richard, in all his helpfulness, came up to help Andy move the monster piece of furniture...really folks, it is like 300 pounds or something. EMPTY!
Anyway, long story short....our house is too small and the blasted piece of furniture too big to turn a corner in my hallway...So it cannot go in the bedroom. It is now residing in the exact spot it has been residing for the past year and a half...Just where I do not want it.
This was going to be the start of all the moving, the shifting, the start of getting things in order for the new baby. Of getting the massive heap of Rigg stuff I have out of my office (remember the picture?)
And it didn't work.
Bye Richard...thanks for the help. No Andy, I know, it is OK...Not your fault. It will be fine, I will figure out where I want it...
And then what do I do?
I sit down in the middle of my hallway, on the cold hardwood floor and cry...just like the emotional, hormonal pregnant lady I am.
I do not usually cry over stupid stuff....and this was stupid. STUPID!
Andy came over and sat with me on the cold hardwood floor in the middle of the hallway.
What's wrong?
nothing...everything...nothing...stupid,blasted armoire.
You miss Caden?
yes
Hugging and crying in the hallway. On the floor.
Andy "let's go get Ice cream."
Me "Stupid, blasted armoire."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
