Monday, December 29, 2008

There will be a day

Christmas is past. Well, at least the 2008 version. Christmas was nice. We had good times with all the fam. A friend came in from Canada, others from New York and Dallas, one cousin almost passing out in pain from what we think might be a gallbladder thingy, a new cousin (Baylor Wayne Cobb, 6 lbs. 8 oz. 19 in.) and I got to scrub vomit out of my Aunts carpet. (not the best job for a pregnant lady with an over-active gag reflex!) So all in all a pretty well rounded holiday.

It is an interesting thing. When you are bracing yourself for a tough day, it is usually the ones that follow that are the hardest. Today was a good day, but I cried a lot. I spent some time with 2 of my best friends. I was able to go with one to Cadens grave. It is still so hard to go and see my baby girls name etched in stone followed by all the days she lived here on this earth. We hugged and cried. I am blessed beyond measure with the friends God has given Andy and I.
It is one thing when people say they are sorry, it is another when they cry and feel the pain with you. I know all of my tears the Lord keeps. (Psalm 56:8) Mine as well as yours. But one day there will be no more tears. I love the Jeremy Camp song There will be a Day. I cry when I hear it on the radio. Because I love it so much, I have posted the lyrics at the bottom. ( ok so I added it to my playlist too...)

Speaking of tears, Andy has informed me that if I continue to cry during worship at church (which I do not see stopping anytime soon) that I should sit in the back as to not make a scene. This was said with a smile and a bit of sarcasm, but I think he meant it too :) I did have a friend say she could no longer sit behind me because she couldn't make it through worship without crying. Maybe next week, I will take a seat in back for the sake of those around me :)

As this year draws to a close, I am forced to reflect on all the Lord has taught me these past 365 days. This year has contained more joy and more sadness than I can even comprehend. I became a mother this past year. I learned what it was to love without getting in return. I have felt pain beyond what I have experienced before. I have leaned on God more in the past 3 months than I have in my entire life. I have not found Him wanting. He is all He has ever claimed to be. My list could go on and on.

I try to hold on to this world with everything I have
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that trys to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth, that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always

I know the journey seems so long You feel your walking on your own But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone
Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store
Outweighs the hurt of life’s sting I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why this is why I sing….

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
There will be a day, He’ll wipe away the stains, He’ll wipe away the tears, He’ll wipe away the tears…..there will be a day.

7 comments:

Lindsey said...

I think there might need to be a lot of us on the back row. You are certainly not alone with your tears during worship.

Elizabeth said...

It's first service! There's no one there to see you make a scene anyway....besides, between me at the piano and your mom in the front I don't think you sitting in the back row really matters anyway :) Tell Andy it's Ben's fault for the songs he picks, not yours...we should just sing songs like Shine Jesus Shine and Onward Christian Soldiers....if we tear up over those we need evaluated.

Katy said...

No back row. Come sit up front with us! (just bring tissues to share)

michaelandheather said...

Hi Cari! I have been thinking a lot about you and Andy. You encourage me so greatly. I am also so blessed to of heard that you are pregnant! Wahoo...sounds like perhaps just a week or two behind me! What's your due date? I just want you and Andy to know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. I trust that the Lord will continue to teach all of us this coming year.

Lovingly,
Heather Richardson (oh...you probably know me as Hardy)

Jason and Amanda said...

I hold back tears all the time...I think I am part MAN, I do not want others to catch me crying, so I have found away to keep from crying (sometimes). I walked out of the 9am service a month ago crying (ran to bathroom stall so others would not see me). So, Mamabeaz says sit where ever you want and cry all you want...you sing beautifully and are giving praise to the Lord.

Richard said...

Let me first say that it is weird hearing about your life secondhand from a website when I live in your house the majority of the year, but it is times like this that I appreciate you having a blog.
It seems like you guys have had enough to entertain you for the past 2 weeks without me being there. I'm praying for you guys. . .

P.S.- Someone asked me if someone in my family had a baby and I told them "Not that I'm aware of. . ." It turns out she saw it on your blog and informed me. I told her that, although I might not be related to them (that I know of), I prettymuch am. Does this mean that Cindy finally popped??

Andy and Cari said...

richard,

yes, Cindy and Brandon had a baby boy...youa re an uncle! (ish) by the way. Cassi was devistated when you did not show up with Andy and I on Saturday. you were missed!