Saturday, December 20, 2008

A Little of this...

Today I woke up and cried. For some reason I couldn't stop. I went in and sat in my baby girls empty room and wept. Some days, like today, the hurt is more than I can deal with. It is like a big awkward box I carry around that I have no place for. Too big for this place, too heavy to sit on that, so I continue to stand there, not knowing what to do with it. So I hold it. And cry.

The past few days have been really good ones, for no other reason then I have spent them with good friends and have had good conversations. I suppose when you have a long string of good days, a hard one tends to loom on the horizon. I do think the crying might be past me today...Andy informed me I simply could not apply my make-up properly if I continued crying.

He was right.

So, for the sake of all those poor souls who have to view my face later today, I stopped the tears and finished the job credibly, if I do say so myself.

This past Thursday I had a Dr.'s apt. I was able to hear the heartbeat of baby Chastain for the 1st time. It was wonderful. 171 beats per min. I have a recording of the beautiful sound. Andy was unable to come, so I took a tape recorder so he could hear it. If you see me and want to hear it, I carry it around in my purse...so you can hear it too!

2 Fridays ago, I spent the afternoon with 3 people I love. we spent the entire afternoon baking and decorating cookies. Stacey came down with her beautiful son, Mindy came over with hers, and Barb gave us her kitchen to destroy. I will leave you some pictures of the fun.


I just want to say thank you to all of you who continue to hold us up to our heavenly Father in prayer. This Christmas is going to be very difficult for us. We know many of you are prayer warriors for our sake. I cannot express in words how grateful I am for you...I thank God every day for you.

9 comments:

Justin said...

You are always remembered and prayed for here at the Williams Home.

Julie said...

how many pregnant women can you get in one picture....?

Andy and Cari said...

julie,

3

Jacie said...

I'm so glad you posted on yuor blog. I always love reading it. And I pray for you every night. Molly and I loved seeing you, and we can't wait to do it again sometime.
~Jacie
P.S. I hope you had fun at the Lion King!

Heidi Stone said...

I still pray for you two (and your families) whenever I think of you (which is often).

Heidi Stone said...

I can't believe it's been three months. Remembering Caden with you nd praying for you today.

Lindsey said...

You mean I could have heard the heartbeat too on Saturday? I had no clue that you had it WITH you!

Ben & Rachel Cole said...

We've been praying for your families throughout this Christmas day. We look forward to hearing that heartbeat soon!

Heidi Stone said...

I hope I didn't offend you today. Sometimes I say things that don't come out right. We will keep sitting wherever my husband leads us to sit and you may keep sitting where you like to sit. :)

I will just keep crying with you.