the avoidance of all things internet

I do not think I have ever gone so long without posting...

We have not been any busier than usual... I have just chosen to do other things with my rare free time, like laundry, dishes, play outside with the kids, shower, read books and nap... or just crash on the couch and watch a movie. I think I needed the extra me time lately, which included the avoidance of all things internet. The past couple of weeks have been rough and busy... and good too.. I have just felt very overwhelmed and stressed and emotional. You know... how almost all young moms feel at times, I am sure. I have wanted to sit and write a few meaningful posts... but I just have not had the time to really do it well. Maybe soon.

Anyhoo... we have spent some really great time with family the last few days. Aunt Sara and Charlie came for a visit. It is fun to have babies around the same age. Charlie and Ryder get a kick out of staring at each other... and it is super cute to watch. Charlie is getting so big and adorable... and so is Ryder if I do say so myself.  I realize he turned 5 months and I did not post pictures... I have a very good reason for this....

I did not take any.

My life got away from me...

I am working on getting pictures back up in my living room after I painted it.. you know, 3 weeks ago...

I am wanting to put a picture of each of the kiddos up. I did not have a really great one of Ryder to use, so I spent some time yesterday morning trying to capture his essence... or just a decent smile. Ryder performed wonderfully... Rigg not so much, I just cannot get that boy to stand still!

So to make up for my lack of info, pictures and really any form of a post... I will leave you with some shots from yesterday. 

I think Ryder looks so much like Caden.  Really, they could have been twins. It makes me smile to see so much of her in him. It makes me sad a little too. I have been picking him up and sqeezing and smooching the wahoozits out of him when I think of Caden... which is a lot lately.  Poor guy... a crazy lady for a mom... oh well, at least he doesn't seem to mind too much now... but maybe it will change when he is 16...

Happy Birthday Rigg!!!

Rigg is 2 today!

Really? 2?!? I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that I am the mommy of a 2 year old. A crazy, busy, fun, huggable, kissable, make-you-nuts and your heart melt 2 year old.  Who happens to love Elmo and all things Sesame Street...

SO,

 yesterday we threw a rockin' Elmo Birthday party for our little man.

And he LOVED it!

We originally scheduled to have the party outdoors @ a playground. This was before all the rain... and the humidity that makes my hair resemble a well groomed poodle... and the mud... and the gnats... you get the picture.

My parents were kind enough to let us relocate to their house on short notice.

So we decorated and Elmo-ed up the joint. Rigg was SUPER impressed. He walked into the house, looked at all the Elmo/Sesame Street  decor and exclaimed "WOW!" about 6 or 7 times.

Score one for mom, thankyouverymuch.

  

 I made up some small favors for the kids. Goldfish, crayons and a silly straw... Elmo does love his goldfish...his crayons too...

SUPER cute cupcake toppers... the toppers and the invite I bought from shindig parties on etsy. LOVED her!

A sign on the door to welcome all to the fun!

Singing Happy Birthday to our big boy! He was really impressed by the singing and yelled "yeah!" when we finished!

Happy Birthday Rigg! We love you more then you will ever know!

Curious about last year's party? Or his actual birthday, or just pics from the day(or day after) he was born?

check 'em out!

this post was brought to you by the letter R and the number 2

May the force be with you...

By happenstance, while I was stuffing my face with breakfast eating my honey nut cheerios this morning, I glanced out the kitchen window...(or glance out the window I did.)

and saw R2D2 in my neighbors backyard...

just normal Wednesday morning stuff...

May the force be with you...

paint and giggles

Today Ryder turned 5 months old....and to celebrate I shipped him and his big brother off to Grandma's house. (my mom took the baby and the Captain's mom took Rigg... hopefully spreading out the work load insures willing participants next time:)  )

What did I do with my WHOLE day of not one child near me?

I painted my living room.

not too relaxing I realize... but I now have this wonderful feeling of accomplishment. That and a knot the size of Kansas at the base of my neck.  I will post before and after pics when I am finished and have an after to show you... right now all is pretty bare and paint is still drying.

However, to celebrate his 5 months on Earth... watch this uber cute video of Ryder laughing at me last night... he is so much fun!

side note: Rigg turns 2 on Sunday!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!!!

(remember to turn off the music at the bottom of the page to hear the video)

bad Cari... bad girl.

I have issues.

This past week has exasperated my issues...and exponentially increased my stress.

For some background info, you should note: the Captain has been outta commission for days with his back injury... (he is now starting to be able to do things again, like pick up the children and drive and stand without wincing...) both boys are sick... whinny, clingy, tired. They are a mess really... snotty, teary, pukey... stinky. A really bad cold plus 2 ear infections and teething and we have a nice combo for a wreck of a week.

SO

All this fun has me in a state of mind I am not usually in... I have ended each day not only worn out, but almost angry and in a mood. At first I really struggled to nail down the reason why I was mad... in the end it hit me like a well aimed hammer...

I am selfish.

Sure being pulled in 10 directions at once is stressful...but the anger is present because I didn't get to do what I want when I wanted. Getting up with sick and crying kids, being vomited on in the wee hours of morning... lack of sleep, no down time, feeling like I have no help because my husband is hurt... all good excuses for me being a jerk....

but the reason is, I am just plain selfish.

I just didn't want to deal with it...any of it.  I really, really want a day off (really I want 2 or 3 :) ) Not only the selfishness and the anger... but I complained about it to anyone who would sit still enough to listen...

not my finest hour...

What gets me the most some times is that you would think I would have a better or different perspective after losing Caden. That I should look at my family, my precious children, and be thankful... uber-super thankful, all the time.

I fall very short most days.

BUT

I have a Father who forgives totally, who wipes away tears and takes away burdens... who comforts, cares and listens... who really, really wants me to shine for HIM.

So I ask Him to forgive my selfishness (1 john 1:9) and I praise Him for my blessings...even if they do puke on me @ 4:30 in the morning... and I ask for strength and endurance to get through the next 20 min...

and He is patient enough to let me do it all over again...

and again...

and again...

you get the picture.

Psalm 86:5,15

You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.

But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

his first tooth

I made a discovery today.

It seems that the copious amount of drool Ryder has been producing lately has been a mere side effect of a much larger circumstance.

My sweet, sweet boy has drooled, gnawed, slobbered and gummed his first tooth into existence.

At first, when I was astonishingly exclaiming my joy at his first big boy accomplishment, Ryder was a tish taken aback.

I have a what growing out of where?

However, seeing his concern, I quickly explained that this was a normal and very healthy step in his development... and that with teeth, he can someday eat yummy things like steak and cookies... or inappropriately defend himself from his older brother...

He seemed to be fine after that.

making memories on memorial day

yesterday was many things.

it was hot.

it was busy.

it was family oriented...

it was brought to a conclusion in the ER...

the event I will now retell with commentary and badly lit and blurry photos from my phone...

The Captain hurt his back early in the morning and after spending much of the day on the floor snuggling with a heating pad and praying the medicine would kick-in... we decided he needed more help then I could give.

(I will spare the details...just picture the Captain not being able to move, get off the floor or really do anything for himself... and grimacing, in what one might call agony, every time he tried.)

So with the help of my dad and grandpa we loaded him in the car and I took him to the ER.

Where we waited...

and waited...

and waited...

and played angry birds....

and waited...

played some more angry birds... (this is the point where I had the realization that when watching the Captain play angry birds I am a back seat bird launcher...)

and waited...

finally saw the doc. He poked and prodded on the Captain's back, checked his reflexes, made him move and walk about a bit (more agonizing grimaces) and decided what he needed was  rest, ice, heat and stronger pain meds.

So after a shot of morphine, a brief period of time after the morphine started to kick in and the Captain got the giggles, and a couple of prescriptions and instructions... we were shown the exit.

The Captain has been in bed since and is still in some drug-induced discomfort... So prayers would be appreciated.

We were chatting on the way home last night about how we saw some people leave the ER in tears. We both wondered what had happened and it brought back memories of when Caden died. Just being in the ER made me squirm a bit. I do not know what brought those people to tears...but my heart went out to them... As they walked out alone, I just sent a prayer of thanks to God for all the family and friends we had at the hospital that evening... how we left without our daughter...but we were not alone. not only did we have Christ... we had a huge group of people there to pray and hug and cry with us... just minutes after saying goodbye to our precious baby girl... I am forever grateful to those who dropped everything to come and be with us and our family... it is a memory seared into by brain and a wonderful example of the love Christ shows us through our Christian Family...

Needless to say, this Memorial Day was definitely a day we will remember... hopefully next year we can skip the ER....

~ 4 months ~

Ryder has achieved more in his 4 months of life then most...

By more, I mean more weight and more length. Chunky Monkey is off the charts again. It was to be expected, he is rapidly outgrowing every outfit I find, as well as giving several nice lady's in the church nursery hernias... just kidding, I hope...

At 4 months Fatty McGee reaches and grasps at toys or Mommy's hair. He happens to have the grip of what I can only assume a professional rock climber strives to attain, making the said grasping of mommy's hair a rather painful experience overall...

This is a boy who LOVES to talk. (a child after my own heart) Ryder will expound freely, if given the chance, about his oh-so-exciting day and all the in's and outs of his busy life. The only thing he seems to enjoy more then the sound of his own voice is what we call face time. Ryder loves him some face time. Just throw all personal space norms to the winds... that's right, he wants you right up in his grill. Of course huge smiles and wild gestures and animated talk must follow... yours, if you want a top-notch reaction.

Ryder is by far the happiest, smiliest baby we have had. Caden was content anywhere and everywhere with any one or any toy, Rigg was chill- all the time- . With Ryder, smiles and giggles are so easy to come by... just get in his face. This also means he can be the grumpiest baby we have had...if he is ready for entertainment and you are busy, say, cooking dinner or kissing his older brother's invisible boo-boos after he has tried to ride the dog like a horse, he will inevitably let you know...loudly and with much gusto.

Ryder (The Bruiser as I have affectionately nicknamed him) is weighing in at 18 pounds 10.5 ounces. This is the reason my neck feels like I have slept on it wrong every night for the past 2 months... He is solidly in 9 months clothes. Being 28 inches long helps to fill out those long footie sleepers. He has more rolls then a Sharpe puppy... and still has some awesome crazy hair.

Almost every night the Captain and I say how much fun Rigg is and how good Ryder is.  It has been wonderful watching Andy fall in love with both of his boys. It has also been super fun to watch Rigg pay more and more attention to Ryder. I can see see glimpses every so often of my future of 2 rambunctious boys, and it puts the biggest smile on my face...it is usually followed by the thought of having almost every item of my home in broken pieces due to 2 rambunctious boys, but I smile none-the-less.

Oh... and "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain"....

results

The Captain's MRI results came back totally CLEAR!!!

another praise and blessing...
another year tumor free...
another answered prayer!

Thanks for praying

If

If I was on top of things there would not be so many days between my posts.

If I were on top of things I would have told you that our precious Ryder turned 4 months old over a week ago.

If I were on top of things I would have taken his picture, posted about his weight and length and told you he is the reason for my neck and shoulder pain.

If I were on top of things I would have picked up the camera and taken pictures at least once this week.

If I were on top of things this post would have pictures... see confession above.

If I were on top of things I would have gotten more then 2 showers in the past 5days.

If I were on top of things I would not have 4, maybe 5... OK! 6!, 6 loads of clean laundry to fold and put away. And some to wash...

If I were on top of things I would have been aware of the wipe situation in my own home... I would have realized we were down to like, 3 wipes and bought some at the store the last time I went... that's not so bad, you say... well you try living with Rigg and the Blowout King and see if you don't sweat a little at the thought of no wipes...sheesh!

If I were on top of things my bedroom would be clean, my bed made, my dishes washed, my bathtub scrubbed and my hair done...

But I am not.

On top of things, that is.

I did however, just have a kickin' dance party with Rigg in the kitchen and I played a stellar game of peek-a-boo with Ryder... So I think it all evens out.

*************************************************************

FYI:

The Captain has his annual MRI tomorrow morning.  Prayers would be much appreciated. Y'all know how he hates the "metal tube of doom" being claustrophobic and all...

Also he has not been feelin' all that swell. So we are trying to see about getting meds changed and looking into other causes of his general icky feelings and all around tuckered out-ness...

I will try to post tomorrow about the MRI results.