Last weekend couldn't have gone better. Rigg's birthday was wonderful, then Father's Day went by without a hitch. It wasn't until Monday that the smooth ride started to get a bit jerky.
I took Rigg to his 1 year check up. He has been teething BIG TIME! So when he felt a little warm.. I assumed teeth... the Doc looked him over, declared he looked great (just BIG! 25+ lbs. and 34 inches tall!) and proceeded with shots.
When he woke up from his morning nap with a fever...I assumed shots. We went about our day and his fever kept getting worse. Trying not to panic, I called the doc on call, he said we were doing all we could and to keep a close eye on him. Rigg's fever broke during the night... I assumed the shots were running their course and it was over.
Well the fever came back full force Tuesday afternoon. By 4:45 it was 105. I called the Dr. He said he would wait after hours til I could get to the office... he wanted to see the little guy.
As I was driving to the office, I prayed. I voiced (out loud) my fear and concern for my son. It is an interesting thing, fear... always close enough to touch and the hardest thing in the world to ignore.
Rigg's fever had dropped by the time we got the the doc's office and he was acting so much better. The Doc thought it was too high to be from the shots... it is probably a virus.
As I was driving home, I prayed. I just thanked God for His provision. For a doctor who will stay after hours, who cares for me and my family, for medicine that was helping my son, for listening to me rant and voice my all to constant fear, and for calming my heart with a son who rebounds with laughs and giggles. I thanked God that no matter what the circumstance, I could trust in Him.
As I finished praying I thought about what it really means to trust in God.
Just because I trust in God does that mean my son will always be OK? nope.
Does it mean that I can rub a magic lamp, pray and ask for what I want and God, like a genie, just grants my wish? nope.
It simply means I have trust in who God is. His character and His word are unfailing.
*I Know God will always be with me...because He is faithful.
Psalm 138:2 I will bow down toward your holy temple and will praise your name for your love and your faithfulness, for you have exalted above all things your name and your word.
*I know God will calm my heart... because He is the only one who can provide peace.
Psalm 29:11 The LORD gives strength to his people; the LORD blesses his people with peace.
*I know God loves for me... because God sent His Son to die to save my life.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
*I know God will give direction... Because He has promised...and God is truth.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
*I know God will hold me up in times of trouble...because He is the Sustainer and Great Provider.
Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
*I know God is in control of all things...because He is the creator and all things are His to control.
Isaiah 40:28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
I trust in God, not because I think it will get me what I want, I know that is not always the case. I trust in God because He is trustworthy and He will always give me what I need...and what is best for me, even when it is hard to see or understand. His plan is always greater and always best. But most importantly...He is God, and He has the right to do whatever He wants, whenever He wants...and because He is good, and He loves me... I can rest in His decisions for my life. My only prayer is that I can point people to Him and that despite my stumblings and grumblings I can bring Him the glory He so rightfully deserves.
So even at my worst, when fear and doubt roll over me like great waves, I can take my troubles to God and trust in Him and in His decision for me...because He has been faithful to me before and I know He will be faithful again...no mater what my future holds...fevers or sickness, or death... When my God is with me, everything will be OK.