Wednesday, March 31, 2010

realization

Days seem to run together.

It is almost April...2010. Really? 2010? Where have I been?

In my mind I still look like I did when I was 19, however when I see myself in the mirror...when I really look...laugh lines... a less chiseled jaw line... a size larger hangs in my closet.

I can easily forget how many responsibilities I have accumulated. In some moments I lose myself and remember what it is like to leave and go shopping. No extra bag to pack, no one get ready but myself... not needing to ask permission or re-evaluate a budget...just shop.
I can almost feel what it was like to be newly married, carefree... I can taste it on the tip of my tongue because it was not so long ago.

but kind of a lot's happened since then

How quickly I forget. Happy, busy, giggly days filled with housework, naptimes, diaper changes... life happens and you keep pressing on.

and today I realized it is almost April...

2010

I am no longer 19... nor do I look like it. I am not free do drive off into the noonday sun and spend half a paycheck on the new spring line at the LOFT.  I have had to wipe poop off little bottoms more times today then yesterday, proving once again, glamorous is not in my new job description.

today, with a kind of slap in the face reality check, I realized it was almost April,

2010

and more then anything, I wish she were here.

4 comments:

Patty said...

Saying a prayer for you that you find comfort in the daily diaper changes and life of a stay-at-home mommy, all while missing your little angel.

Happy Wednesday.

Just Me - The Champion said...

Cari,

It's funny because I was packing this week I realized just how sweet and cute I dress my children, but I think I forgot how to shop for myself. Durango is a jeans and flip flops town so I went from Metropolitan shopping in Minneapolis at the Gap and the LOFT to t-shirts jeans and flip flops with children in tow with stains and spills galore. Time flies girlfriend, I want you to know that I transferred Caden's fridge pic from my fridge at my old place to the fridge at my new home. Can't wait to meet her. She brings me joy each time I look at her. :) Praying for you today...for an overpouring of God's love in your life. Lv, jen

Katy said...

Sigh... Matt and I just had a conversation about feeling old - I mean looking older, but not feeling it. Life has a way of moving on with or without us. Happy diaper changing!

Anonymous said...

I said it last night and I'll say it again, You are beautiful and I appreciate all the work you do around the house and for our family. Love you babe!