Friday, January 16, 2009

laughing and crying

So lately I have gotten some much loved time with some much loved friends....this phrase's meaning is 2 fold.

1st. I have been able to spend time (whole days in fact) with some very close friends. Last Tuesday was my birthday. I love birthdays. Andy says one day that will change, but seeing as I am as old as I am, and still love 'em....I do not see how he can be right. However, this is coming from a man who tells people how much he detests birthdays and scowls at anyone who well-wishes him on his "big day". So on my birthday I had a good time...went to lunch at the coveted Chick fil-a and was, I kid you not, sung to by the lovely persons who work there. As I was smiling, turning red, and trying not to slide under the table...I was hoping that the whole of the restaurant besides the impromptu "birthday party" was thinking the birthday girl was the one year old sitting by my side. (fingers crossed) here's hopin'. Incidentally I have come to the point in my life where I think I had just as many party guests under 5 as I did over....ahh the glamorous life, so this is what it is like!!!
I have also been able to spend time with close friends one on one...or two. It has been very nice and almost like therapy. Andy knows I love him...but some days there is nothing like a good girlfriend to make you feel better.

2nd explanation to my 2 fold statement (and I make this next statement under the assumption that you will not judge me....again fingers crossed) Andy bought me the 1st season of Friends, the TV show, for my I then went and spent some birthday $$ on the next 2 seasons. That is right Internet...I have been sitting on my kiester watching episode after episode of a closet obsession of mine for the last week...and laughing out loud to myself ( I am not afraid to admit that after such bursts of laughter, I do try to repeat, out loud, what was so funny only to realize that I am by myself. If you know me at all, you know I am a repeater and do this frequently in the presence of people, and now apparently, in the presence of only myself.) I am OK with this.

I have a Dr. Apt. on Thursday. Andy and I will get to hear the baby's heartbeat and then schedule a time for an ultrsound. We are the kind of people who wanna know what we are hopefully in the next couple of weeks we will know if it is a baby girl, or a baby boy. Any vibes out there? Andy and I have ours...but we would love to see what you are thinking, feeling, hoping for...let us know!

I feel like lately I have nothing to give these posts...this has been the reason for my lapse into nothingness. Either I have nothing, or am just emotionally spent. Sometimes the line between the two blurs. A week from today would have been Caden's 1st birthday. She missed it by 4months and 2 days. It feels like so much longer...or just yesterday. But most days it feels like both all at the same time. I laugh more than I cry these days. And for that I praise God. I do feel like Saturday will be hard. Please pray for Andy and me this week. As well as our families. We miss our baby girl. So much it hurts. I have been remembering her a lot this week. So along with a prayer request, I will leave you with a small video. Just in case I do not have the strength to post something more later this week in honor of my daughter.
Thank you for your prayers and love for us.

(remember to go to the bottom of the screen and pause the music so you can hear the video.)


Jacie said...

Hi. I'm so glad you posted this. Oh, and happy belated birthday!
Just to let you know, I predict you will have a boy. I don't know why; I just think you will. Then you can do that theme for the nursery you were talking about.
I will pray for you this week. I'm sure it will be hard, but you are strong and will make it through. The video you was beautiful. She was such an adorable baby.

Elizabeth said...

I want more.

Bethany said...

Cari and Andy,

Doug and I pray for you everyday. Although we missed the joy of knowing Caden...our hearts go out to you. Praying for His peace and comfort.

Heidi Stone said...

thanks for the video, cari. i still miss her too.

Sarah said...

Sweet little baby...
Thanks for sharing. I know you treasure these precious memories. Your faith is an encouragement to me. Praise be to God!

Heidi Stone said...

praying for you this weekend, cari.