Life is still happening.
The world is still moving... the sun keeps rising and setting...
and we are still in what seems to be a holding pattern.
Brain cancer, or any cancer I guess, is strange that way.
How do we know if it's getting better or worse?
How do we know what God is doing?
How do we know what our life is going to look like?
These are questions that plague my mind.
These days my life seems a surreal mix of tragic and normalcy.
I find myself praying for HUGE things from God.
I plead for complete and total healing for the Captain.
I ask for God's will in our lives...
But please heal him.
Please take this away.
Please don't let this hurt .
Please give the boys courage and peace
Please give them a love for You that will not waver in pain and hard days.
Please let them grow up with a daddy.
And we wait.
In our very own, personal holding pattern.
And the days keep coming.
All the normal days filled with stuff that is important, but pales in comparison to what awaits on the fringes.
And I wonder...
What is God's plan?
What is He doing?
It is so hard not to know, to sit patiently and wait.
To live in the here and now and do normal stuff.
When life seems so horribly abnormal.
What a gift.