Cloudy with a chance of awesome

The Captain had his first MRI post surgery and radiation this past Tuesday.

I'm not gonna lie... I was nervous.

Well, nervous, yes... but mostly emotional.

And slightly twitchy.

It probably showed as I sat alone slightly weepy in the corner of the waiting room. 

I drew a few looks.

I'm not sure why I was so ill at ease. Most likely it has to do with my new mantra, you might recall... one day at a time. So I just pushed the MRI and all MRI related thoughts from my mind until the actual day was upon me. This new motto has it's up and down sides.

We were able to see the Captain's oncologist directly after his scan. 

After waiting hardly at all, she pulled up the pictures for us to see.

And it was really cloudy.

White, filmy, cloudiness  is what we saw in the tumor bed.

The issue with reading a MRI so soon after radiation is the build-up of radiation still left in the tumor bed. Which is expected, normal and a good thing, as the "left over" radiation is still in there and doing it's job. So the cloudiness could indicate scar tissue, tumor activity or radiation... or a mixture of the three. A specialist reads the scan and measures for profusion to see the activity of the tumor.

And we had to wait for that.

So we went home.

and waited.

I finally received a call from the doc. She said that it looked like Andy was negative for profusion.

"What's that mean?" I asked.

She replied that it looks that all the cloudiness in the Captains head seems to be residual radiation.

(she actually didn't use the words "the Captain" she just called him Andy...)

It was the best news we could have received at this time.

We still do not know how much of the tumor remains, how much is dying off or what it really looks like in there... but he will have another MRI in a month. Hopefully all the radiation will have faded by then and we can get a clearer picture of what is going on.

So we wait...

and Andy starts swallowing poison (chemo) 5 nights a month for a year.

My prayer going into this MRI was that we would leave hopeful and encouraged.

God is faithful in answering prayers.

I am both hopeful and encouraged.

I told Andy, even though we do not have a clear picture... and we still do not know what God is going to do, it is a possibility that God has already healed him and we just can't see it yet...

How awesome would that be?!?!?!

BUT...

Before we start speculating and running away with probabilities, we will rest in the expectant hope of God's goodness and power.

And we continue to pray for God's will to prevail.

No matter what that is.