Part of me cannot even believe I am typing this...
Part of me wants to scream and yell and put my fingers in my ears while humming and singing "I'm not listening!"
Another part of me is praying... pleading... quite possibly begging God to miricle this away.
We found out earlier today the Captain's tumor is back.
Andy hasn't been feeling well for awhile. He's been here...but not here. Finally today he looked at me and said I needed to take him to the ER, something wasn't right.
SO we went to the ER. Had a CT scan... which showed a mass. A MRI confirmed that his tumor along with a large cyst are growing in his left frontal lobe, causing major headachs and other unfun stuff.
Surgery is scheduled for Monday afternoon at 2pm (ish)
Prayers greatfully (joyously and jealously) accepted.
I want to be bright and sunny and positive... but I am not feelin' it right now. The tumor looks to be cancerous and the surgeon has to leave some behind. To try to get it all would leave lasting injury to Andy and his brain.
Cancer left in the brain is never good.
But GOD IS!
God is good. And I know God loves both the Captain and me very much.
2 things keep coming to mind today...
John 9:3b "but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him."
In Daniel 3 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were going to be tossed into the fiery furnace and they said that they knew God would save them... but even if He didn't that they would still do what was right.
I want God's glory to be displayed... and I want to do what is right even if God doesn't do a miracle.
I want to have a heart that accepts WHATEVER He wants for me.
So I am praying:
1. that Jesus comes back... very soon.
2. that God would preform a miracle in this circumstance. That He would cure Andy before, during or after the surgery.... whatever that might look like.
3. that He gives me a heart that desires His will above my own.
4. for the Captain... his comfort, peace and health.
5. for my boys...
Please pray with us.
I am so thankful for those who love us from near and afar.
We love you, too.
Lord, come quickly...