Today the Captain and I have been married 9 years.
It is a bit hard to wrap my mind around. 9 years.
I am so blessed and thankful to have such a wonderful husband. He loves me more than I deserve.
We had plans to get away, just the Captain and me. A little road trip, a stay at a hotel... a warm dinner made and served by others, eaten without interruption or a tiny human crawling all over you.
But then the Captain started feeling poorly, same symptoms that put him in the hospital two weeks ago. So we had to cancel.
Don't feel too bad for me. My wonderful mother still took the kiddos all day yesterday and last night, so I had a whole day of sloth-like relaxation while Andy slept and tried to recover (the Doc called in and switched a med, hopefully relieving his discomfort and fever.... it worked OK yesterday afternoon and last night).
A very small part of me was disappointed at our last minute cancellation. A bigger part of me was not surprised. It seems lately we can't catch a break. I had a moment where I really just wanted to vent and complain... I wanted others to acknowledge just how sucky my life could be.
Then I took a breath and mustered up the energy to not act like I was 5 and prayed for a better attitude. God showed up. As He always does, with a proper perspective and a peace and contentment for my situation.
I've been telling myself for awhile, if God has given Andy the task of fighting
stupid brain cancer, then it is my job to pick up the slack, to deal gracefully and lovingly with whatever my day brings. Whether that is parenting solo, running errands, chores, canceling really fun plans, or doing things that I just do not want to do. And if God has given me this job, this jack-of-all-trades-pick-up-the-slack-kind-of-job, then He has provided a way for me to do it well, with love and grace and joy.
I just tend to go my own merry way for a awhile before I surrender.
Its a process.
He's still working on me.
So instead of pouting all day yesterday, I enjoyed the rest and relaxation of being home without my boys. It had it's own kind of loveliness. And today, on the day of our anniversary, I am nothing but thankful for my husband and my marriage.
It never ceases to amaze me how God can turn a persons heart.
That is a true miracle.