It is a gift

Sometimes I want to plunge my fingers deep into my ears, shut my eyes so tight I give myself irreversible crows feet and sing "LA-LA-LA-LA-LA" as loud as I can muster.

Sometimes my world seems full to the brim of stress, worry, fear...pain, ache, loss.

Sometimes it is all I can manage to catch my breath. To hold back the tears. To get up and walk... to live each day in my own little world.

Sometimes on days when I finally open my eyes to the hurt and pain and struggle in others lives...  it seems too much. I want to shut down. I want to numb out... I want relief.

Then, or if, I take the time to think... really think about why it affects me so much. I realize it is probably because I can empathize. I can feel their hurt because I too have been hurt. I too have lived that day... those days... that moment. And then the thought crystallizes... what if when everyone else heard of me, my story, my life, they plugged their ears, closed their eyes and and tuned out me?

I am blessed many times over beacuse they did not. You did not. Many ears listened, many eyes saw, many mouths prayed. And I am a thankful and changed woman for the work that Christ did through His people.

I have been given this life...with all of its ups and downs for one purpose. To glorify Christ. By how I walk each day, by what I say, by how I seek to serve and encourage others. God has shown me great examples of love, service and encouragement. In the death of my daughter and the illness of my husband I have been blessed to witness firsthand the grace and mercy of Christ.

It is now my turn to use what He has given to comfort and encourage others. For I have been given much.

So I will unplug my ears, open my eyes and silence my selfishness... because feeling others'  pain so acutely is not a bad thing.

It is a gift.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.