Just recalled...

Last year I heard this group sing a song on a local radio station...I was stunned...It was great, and hilarious...and it was love at first listen (?) sound (?)...anyway. I just remembered it.

So I decided to share...enjoy.

To anybody who loves the 80's...or the music from that era, you are gonna love the end...it is my favorite! I am now singing this song in my head and will be for days and days...if this happens to you...sorry.

stop my music at the bottom to hear the video...

It's beginning to look a lot like

CHRISTMAS!

So I put up my Christmas decorations today whilst the boys were down for their naps. I know, you might be thinking it is a tish bit late to be putting up the tree and all the trimmings, but only just. You see, when I married the Captain, he told me his Grandpa, who passed away just before we started dating, always said to wait until after Pearl Harbor Day to decorate for Christmas. So, in honor of the Captain's Grandpa...we wait. So we are only a few days late.

Oh, I do love the Christmas decor! We have a great fireplace for garland and the cutest Charlie Brown tree.

I decorate in all gold...what do you do?

ps. Jen...do you see the gold aspen leaf? A present to myself from our vacation to Colorado a few years ago!

Let it snow

Well, it is here. The first snow of the season.
I got out of bed this morning and looked out the nearest window, just to be shocked into delight at the fresh white blanket covering the ground and everything else in view. I smiled as I thought of this upcoming Christmas season and how fun it was going to be. Snow just makes Christmas for me.

As I was sweating and running around like a crazy lady quietly and peacefully picking up my house this morning I kept seeing the glittery snow out of the corner of my eye. At one point, I stopped dead in my tracks as I remembered the first snowfall last year...and how different it was.

I remember getting out of bed last year around this time, and seeing the first snowfall of the winter season. Instead of being delighted, I stared at the frozen landscape and cried. Then I sobbed. Then I crawled right back inside my bed and wept some more.

I was so upset I could not share the wonder and majesty that is the first fallen snow with my baby girl. Who would have been just old enough to enjoy it. She would have stared in awe and amazement at the cold, white, fluffy ground covering. It would have been so much fun to show her. It would have been such a joy to see her face take it all in. To hear her reaction would have been priceless. Instead, I was alone, no baby, no joy...just sadness and emptiness.

Oh what a difference a year in the hands of God can make. Not only did I delight in this first snow, but I had almost completely forgotten my reaction to this same incidence just one year ago. The Great physician, healing my wounded soul...

I thought, last year, when I was so wrapped up in my pain and hurt, that I would never enjoy the first snowfall again. I thought it would always remind me of what I missed out on with Caden.

Now I know different. To me, the first snowfall is not a reminder of what never was, but of healing and making new, because that is what God is doing. He is taking what was broken in my heart and making it whole. My emptiness is becoming full. Full of faith in His word. Joy in what he has given, and hope for what he has in store.

Although there is still pain and hurt...it is not like it was. It is not so raw all the time. It is not so unbearable. It is not so constant. God is healing a broken heart.

So this year, and for all the years to come, I hope to say, let it snow!

unsatisfied

You might notice, or have been incredibly annoyed by the fact, that I change my background on this blog often.


I am usually a change-it-up kinda gal. I always want to repaint, or reupholster or re-do something within arms reach...it's part of my creative nature. I want to take something and make it my own.

However, when it comes to this blog, I would love to have a more permanent background. I am not sure where this desire springs from, seeing as how I usually love a change. But for some reason, here, I want to have continuity, I want it to be recognizable...I want what I cannot have. Why? Because I have found, in all of my searching through the free blog backgrounds, nothing that I love.

And I know why it is. I want to do it myself.

I do not know how.

I have great ideas...but I do not want to download programs, or figure out how to do it.

The only solution...pay another to do my bidding.

And I am not gonna shell out the cash.

So because I cannot find a background I love to save my life...I leave you with the newest standby.

Because it is Christmastime and all.....

Time with dad

Is always  a mess  so much fun!

Return to Kokomo

For those of you who have been around since I started this blog you may remember this post.
This past Monday, we did it again...a road trip to visit friends...
When I was 5, I met my best friend. She still is. Only 2 years ago she moved away...BOO! So, because I used to see her about 2 times a week and now I only get to see her about 2 times every few months, I took Rigg on a road trip to visit Aunt Stacey.

We had a good time...Rigg was excellent, as always.

It was so nice to chat and catch up with Stace, I miss her being around, but good friends are good friends no matter the distance.

Her son Aiden, who is adorable, loved on Rigg for a minute.

I caught a kiss on film...

it reminded me of this kiss, which is one of my all time favorite pictures.

You may notice I post a lot of pics of Caden in this shirt...they were all taken one day a month or so before she died while we were visiting Stacey. They bring back such good memories, I am so thankful we had that day and Stacey was able to really meet and enjoy Caden for a few short hours.

Stacey also has a beautiful baby girl. While I was there I snatched her up and snuggled her.

She also got a big kick out of Rigg and tried to feed him a bus...no worries, it was a toy, and he did not seem to be hungery.

Thanks for the fun day Stace...we will do it again soon!

Take heart

My day has gone downhill fast.

Fussy babies, too much laundry...a slidshow of images of my baby girl gone.

Much tears and wiping of the nose.

Oh how I miss her.  I was reaching out to the screen trying to touch her cheek and I just lost it...
So many good days in a row it was bound to happen. What makes it worse is what I can't remember. Her smell. Her voice, her laugh, how she felt when I picked her up.
Life is long without her...and I am weak and tired today.  She is so beautiful...

God has comforted us greatly. Some days I forget what it is like to hurt like this...other days, it is all to easy to remember. 

I sent a verse to a friend this morning because she was hurting as well and I thought it might be of some comfort.
Psalm 27:13-14

I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

I could do to be reminded of this today...be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
 
The first time I remember reading this verse is because it was given to me by a friend who herself had memorized it in hard times. She passed this verse off to me, along with others, when I was in college and needed some comfort. God was faithful to His word then...I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD

He will not let me down.

Still, some days it just hurts to be here.
As much as it hurts...I am certain this is right where God wants me...

Food, glorious food...

My father has told me on multiple occasions "never get between a man and his food."  I usually laugh and mutter something sarcastic under my breath... but I am afraid he might be right.

Rigg has started eating...

And he loves it!

Photos of Thanks

Rigg's first Thanksgiving went very well. We had a great time with our families. Which is very easy to do when you have great families, which we do.

I am so very blessed to be able to enjoy my family and be at peace during this time of year. Although Caden was missed, her shining face was seen in almost every room of the houses. Not only is she is placed on mantles and shelves inside beautiful frames, but she is always a thought or memory away...we carry her everywhere.

As my friend Heidi said..."Your whole family will have the greatest feast of thanksgiving when you reach the pearly gates." To which I replied "Amen, sister!" And we will...one day.

Rigg is a pleasant sort of fellow and enjoys most people. But this year he showed us just how much he loves his grandpa's. My dad, who we are calling 'pop', was telling Rigg a story, which Rigg just loved. He laughed in all the right places and just ate up being the center of attention.

The captains dad..papaw, was not to be outdone. He was just as funny with all of his silly faces. Bringing Rigg to giggles and belly laughs to the delight of the room.

Richard, some of you may remember, is the college age gentleman who happens to live in our basement. he was at attendance at both of our family thanksgivings. He did a lot of football watching with the captain and a lot of texting...geez, Richard...

We also played a game of scrabble which my dad, who was coming in dead last, somehow pulled it out in the end. And Richard, who was in the lead...lost. I am still a little giddy over that!

The Grandma's really enjoyed their newest grandson too. My mom, Mam, kept hiding behind Rigg when I was taking pictures. She said she looked terrible I need to give her more warning if I wanted to take her picture. To which I replied in my best sarcastic tone. " Hi, Mom we are coming over for Thanksgiving!"

It was a great holiday...I am very much looking forward to Christmas. When my sister and brother will be there to celebrate with us. YEAH!

Celebrate we will

With Thanksgiving over I find myself just basking in the warmth and glow of my family. I knew this Thanksgiving would be happier then last year, and I was right. Everyone was happy. Last year, even though we had a good time, the sadness of a baby girl gone was evident in everyone’s eyes and face. This year, that sadness was replaced with joy and hope. Rigg was the joy and Caden's absence was the reminder of our hope.

As I was dressing Rigg before his 1st Thanksgiving dinner, we had 2, I leaned down close to his face and I whispered "we made it." He just smiled and cooed at me.
I miss my girl.
I am thankful for my babies.
I rejoice in my son.

Rigg was part of his first prayer circle this year. As we sat around the dinning table at my parents’ house, Rigg sat like a big boy in my mothers’ old high chair (It is a really fun antique metal highchair that is white with a red vinyl seat.), we prayed together.  Rigg's chair was between my fathers and mine. So during the prayer we all held hands; I held Rigg's left hand and my dad held his right. My mom cried. I thanks God for my babies, and that I could share this holiday with my son.

I have pictures, but they will have to wait...I am going to enjoy my family a bit more now.

I am continually thankful that Rigg was here for this Thanksgiving and am looking forward to it being one of his many firsts...

Although we may never celebrate with our whole family, we can celebrate with those that are here...and celebrate we will.