If it is not one thing....

Then it is another... WARNING...this post is long...I am sorry, but there are pics, hopefully that makes up for it!

It is a cruel trick of nature the way things are after you deliver a baby. Or at least after I deliver a baby. There are those women who take their pre-pregnancy jeans to the hospital and actually wear the home...I am not one of those women. You might have given that a good guess by the size of my middle before Rigg arrived. Now that he is here I am smaller, but not as small as I would love to be. To leave the hospital with new bundle of joy in hand and still look 6 months prego is just wrong...not to mention that my feet and ankles are the size of softballs and were not that swollen when I went in...gonna get worse before it gets better...

Ahh how I long to be one hot mama with cute baby attached to hip...this however is not my reality. I did see a chick in target with a super small infant and she was in heels and what appeared to be a size 2...after I picked her up and tossed her out of my way, I hitched up my post prego pants and heaved around her, pulled my shirt down, as it creeps up on its own and went about my merry way. All the while silently fuming that I was not delt the size 2 card.

But my hair and makeup looked nice...any port in the storm.

Rigg is a bit jaundice. His levels were OK bu in the high OK's as we left the hospital. They told me to watch his color and call the doc if he gets more yellow. Well Monday I gave him a good once over and decided I couldn't tell...but now I am a woman who errors on the side of caution...so I called the doc. We went in later that same afternoon and they ordered a billi blanket and a blood test to be taken today. SO last night we had him in the billi and took him back to the hospital today for the blood test. They will send the info to the doc and we will go back to his office tomorrow morning for a follow up and to see how much longer our new little man will be part of his own personal light show.

If you look close you can see the blueish glow under his left arm.

Did y'all know how rough nursing can be...I had not COMPLETELY forgotten, but man...it is work. It is frustrating...it is not working for me! I think some of it is his jaundice...it makes him extra groggy and hard to wake up. So he eats less...when he eats less his jaundice can get worse...VICIOUS CYCLE!!! So we are supplementing with a bit of formula as well as me pumping to make more milk. He seems to eat better from a bottle than me...this is a pattern I see forming with my kids....Caden was a terrible nurser. So if I have to pump and supplement I will...anything for the sake of the babe.


The captain and I are going back our previous pediatrician. We love him. You might remember from previous posts about Caden, but she went to the Dr. the morning she died. He was and continues to be completely dumbfounded. He came to the hospital the night she died to see us...he is a great man. It was not a hard decision to make. We want him to be Riggs Dr. As I was in his office yesterday ( my mom drove considering both the captain and I cannot) it was a bit difficult for me. The captain had gone to work ( he is home for the next few days though) so it was just me and mom. She offered to stay in the waiting room while I went back to see the Dr. I was silently very happy because I wanted to see him without her with me. As I was back in the room waiting for him to come in I stared to cry...maybe it was the post pregnancy hormones, maybe it was stress, maybe it was I was worried about Rigg, but if I am honest it was the fact that the last time I was in this office I was carrying my baby. Only it was an 8 mo. old baby girl and she was breathing and chatting and warm against my cheek. And now she is none of those things...and although as I sat there holding my baby...I also sat there missing my baby. I sat on the wooden bench and stared at a picture of a golf course and told myself over and over again to stop thinking about it, to stop crying. It did not work...I was a blubbering mess when he came in. He gave me the biggest hug. I stumbled over apologies...you see I know how a hysterical crying woman makes men feel. He begged me not to apologize and said he didn't know how I didn't cry 7 times a day...I said he was a wonderful man. We chatted about the captain, for he had heard that news as well, and then we talked about Caden. We then looked at Rigg and chatted about him. I cried a little more, all the while SO very thankful my mother was not there...she would cry and worry about me and I did not need that, for me or her. Although she told me later it was very odd to her to be sitting in the pediatricians office about her new grandson on the 9 month anniversary of her granddaughters death...she was trying not to worry...I think if she would have seen the puddle I was slowly becoming she would not have lasted too long either. The Dr. was so great, and informed me if I stress out or panic with this baby he will be by our side through it all...and if we freak out when Rigg gets a fever...he probably will a little too...I just LOVE him!

SO, we see the doc again tomorrow...and we will determine how long to keep the Big Rigg on the billi blanket. Then in no time flat we will be getting ready for the captain second round of chemo. And the world keeps turning and moving on...and my feet are still swollen. Ahh well, life is still good, If I have to sit around with my feet up, might as well hold my new little man while I am at it!

This was Rigg's going home outfit.

The captain on Father's day with his new son. One of our friends came to the hospital to visit...when he saw Rigg he said it looked like someone had put Andy in the dryer!

Incidentally, y'all should be so thankful for the spell check. Without it your reading would be hindered dramatically because, evidently I cannot spell or type to save my life.