You might have heard about me totaling my van.
If not... guess what?
I totaled my van.
Which is unfortunate, because it was a good van. Got me from A to B. It fit all my stuff. It had low miles and had been my grandparents before it was mine. Whenever I saw it I still thought of it as "Paw's van".
But then one sunny day I turned in front of a nice man in a shiny white car ensuring the end of my "Paw's van"-driving days.
I banged up my arm pretty badly... went to get an X-ray to make sure what I was certain was just a bad bruise, was in fact, just a bad bruise...
I got a rental and started the process of finding a new car... and trying to decide how much I was willing/able to spend.
One of the things I was concerned about was reliability. No longer having Andy around to maintain and care for my car, as well as shovel me out when the weather gets bad (which it does), I wanted a car I could trust to hold up for a bit... and trample over snow so I do not have to labor my way out of my own driveway on cold, snowy mornings.
One of the things I have come to realize since the Captain has become sick enough to not help make decisions... is being the sole person who decides things for your family is a really big responsibility.
I was worried about making the right decision... I was concerned about the money I was going to have to spend... I was a bit over my head in all things car as well... I know what's pretty... but what is reliable? What is a good deal? What kind of used car will hold up?
Then one day, in the midst of my indecisiveness about a car, I get a phone call from my Pastor. He tells me that someone, who wishes to remain anonymous, heard about my van wrecking ways and wanted to buy me a car.
There was silence on my end... stunned, awe-struck silence.
He went on to explain that the giver wanted to make sure I wouldn't have to worry about my car for awhile... and that it would hold up in winter weather, so they had done some research and wanted to give me a certain sum that would buy me a BRAND NEW CAR.
AGAIN: There was silence on my end... stunned, awe-struck silence.
I spend the next few days chewing on this information. Feeling very undeserving... very humbled by the gift.
My first inclination when given a large sum of money is to spend just as much as I need... and save the rest. So I considered buying a really nice used car and putting the rest of the money in the trust that has been set up for our family. However, after talking with a few people... who stated, if they had given someone enough money to purchase a new car, they would want the money to go toward a brand new car, I started to consider going against my first inclination.
So, the next Sunday I asked my Pastor, (who is the only person who knows who the giver is, and the only one who has spoken with them) what was the giver's intention? I wanted to know if they wanted me to get a decent car... or if they intended for me to spend the money on a brand new car.
He said his impression was that they wanted me to buy a brand new car.
After many days and a lot of praying... I decided to honor the intention of the gift.
So after a few days, and the money being filtered into the trust by a third party to keep the giver completely anonymous, I went out and bought
A BRAND NEW CAR!
It's a gorgeous black 2014 Nissan Murano.
And it's gorgeous...
did I mention it's gorgeous?
Since the money had been put into the trust, my trustee had to come out to write the check... Ken even wore a smile as he wrote it out.
Since the purchase, I keep crying while I drive it... that, or I'm annoyingly joyful.
Some days I feel like it is the happiest, bestest thing ever, to breathe in that new-car smell, play with all the fancy gadgets...
and some days I am completely overwhelmed by the weight of the gift. I feel wholly undeserving...but on those days I try to remind myself that I have an even bigger, weightier and more undeserving gift in my salvation... I ponder how often I feel the weight of the gift God gave in His son Jesus. I have spent many hours, driving my new car, thanking God for saving me... all because someone bought me a new car.
Because I do not know who gave me such an awesome gift... I do not know who to thank...
I spent some time making signs...
So we could snap a pic and send it back to the person who was so gracious and giving.
To the Giver: we are overwhelmed with gratitude.
Love: a thankful heart.